Have our Panagia, His dear, sweet Mother, as your protectress and entreat her constantly. Embrace her holy icon as if she were alive, and wet it with tears as the myrrh-bearer did to Jesus' feet.
You will derive substantial consolation as if she were beside you.
Elder Joseph the Hesychast
Τὸ σκοτάδι, ὡς συνέπεια τῆς πτώσεως τοῦ ἀνθρώπου, δὲν βγάζει ποτὲ στὸ φῶς. Τὸ φῶς διαλύει τὸ σκοτάδι, διότι τὸ σκοτάδι εἶναι ἀνυπόστατο, δὲν ἔχει οὐσία. Ὑπάρχει ὅμως μία περίπτωσις τὴν ὁποία πανσόφως ἐκμεταλλεύεται ὁ παντουργὸς Θεὸς γιὰ τὸ καλό μας, βγάζοντας καὶ ἀπὸ τὸ κακὸ καλό, ἀπὸ τὸ σκοτάδι φῶς.
Πῶς; Διὰ τῆς μετανοίας. Βλέπω τὴν κακία μου, τὴν ἁμαρτία μου, μετανοῶ, κλαίω, θρηνῶ, ὁδηγοῦμαι στὸν Θεόν, ἀναλαμβάνω τὶς εὐθύνες μου, νήφω, καρτερῶ, καὶ μέσα μου καλλιεργεῖται ὁ καινούργιος ἄνθρωπος ποὺ βγαίνει ἀπὸ τὴν μετάνοια.
Ἄρα, τὸ καλὸ δὲν βγαίνει ἀπὸ τὸ κακό, ἀλλὰ ἀπὸ τὴν μετὰνοια, ποὺ εἶναι ἄλλος νοῦς, ὁ νοῦς ποὺ τὸν παρέχει ὁ Θεὸς μέσα στὴν καρδιά.
Ὅταν ἀνησυχῆ, λόγου χάριν, ὁ πατέρας ἢ ἡ μητέρα, ἐπειδὴ ἁμαρτάνει τὸ παιδί, καὶ τὸ κτυπᾶ, ὁπωσδήποτε θὰ βγάλη ἀντίθετο ἀποτέλεσμα. Διότι, ἐὰν τὸ παιδὶ κάνη ἁμαρτίες, σημαίνει ὅτι ζητάει τὴν ἁμαρτία καὶ θὰ τὰ βάλη μὲ σένα, ποὺ γίνεσαι κήρυξ τῆς ἀρετῆς. Καὶ τώρα μὲν φοβᾶται νὰ ἁμαρτήση, ἀλλὰ μόλις ἀπελευθερωθῆ ἀπὸ σένα, θὰ ὁδηγηθῆ ἀμέσως στὸ κακό. Ἡ βία, τὸ κακό, δὲν μπορεῖ νὰ βγάλη καλό.
Πὲς λοιπὸν στὸ παιδάκι σου τὸ καλό, μάθε του τί εἶναι ὁ Θεός. Μίλησέ του ἀπὸ τὸ πλήρωμα τῆς δικῆς σου καρδιᾶς, φώτισέ του λίγο τὴν συνείδησι μὲ τὴν δική σου λαχτάρα καὶ θεία ἐμπειρία, καὶ μπαίνοντας μέσα του ὁ Θεός, θὰ τὸν ἀγαπήση.
Μπορεῖ νὰ βρίζη, μπορεῖ νὰ κάνη ἁμαρτίες, ἀλλὰ ἔχοντας τὰ σπέρματα τοῦ Θεοῦ, ποὺ εἶναι τόσο ἰσχυρά, ὁ Θεὸς τὰ καλλιεργεῖ καὶ βγαίνει ἡ καινούργια φύτρα, τὸ καινούργιο βλαστάρι, τὸ ὁποῖο δίδει καινούργια ζωή. Αὐτὴ εἶναι ἡ μετάνοια.
Τὸ παιδὶ δηλαδὴ αὐτό, ἐπειδὴ τὸ ἀφήνεις ἐλεύθερο, ἐπειδὴ τὸ σέβεσαι, ἐπειδὴ τοῦ εἶπες τὴν ἀλήθεια, ἐπειδὴ τοῦ ἀπεκάλυψες τί ἔχει ἡ καρδούλα σου καὶ τί κόσμοι ὑπάρχουν μέσα σὲ αὐτήν, λέγει μετά: Μά, τί φρικτὴ ζωὴ ποὺ κάνω!
Τί εἶναι αὐτὴ ἡ ἁμαρτία! «Ἀναστήσομαι καὶ ἐπιστρέψω εἰς τὸν Πατέρα» (Λουκ. 15, 18). Καὶ ὁ βλαστὸς τῆς μετανοίας βγάζει τὸν καρπὸ τῆς καινῆς ζωῆς. Ἔτσι τὰ καταφέρνει ὁ Θεὸς νὰ βγάζη καὶ ἀπὸ τὸ στόμα τοῦ λύκου τὴν σωτηρία.
Ὁ Ἰώβ, ἀπὸ τὴν κατάρα στὴν ὁποία εἶχε πέσει, ἔβγαλε τὴν εὐλογία τοῦ Θεοῦ καὶ ἀνεκαινίσθη. Ὁ Μωυσῆς ὁ Αἰθίοψ, ἀπὸ τὰ ἐγκλήματα καὶ τὶς ληστεῖες, ἔβγαλε τὴν καινούργια ἀσκητικώτατη ζωὴ καὶ ἔγινε ἀγνώριστος. Δὲν τὸν γνώρισαν κἄν οἱ παλαιοὶ σύντροφοί του καὶ οἱ ἄλλοι ληστὲς· τόσο «ἀνεκαινίσθη ὡς ἀετοῦ ἡ νεότης του» (Ψαλμ. 102, 5), ἔγινε καινούργια ἡ ζωή του.
Ἑπομένως, μποροῦμε νὰ ποῦμε: Ὅποιος εἶναι θυμώδης, ἂς στρέψη ὅλον τὸν θυμό, ὅλη τὴν ἐσωτερικὴ ἔντασί του πρὸς τὴ ἀγάπη τοῦ Θεοῦ, πρὸς τὴν εἰρήνη, πρὸς τὰ σωτήρια λόγια, πρὸς τὸ «Κύριε Ἰησοῦ Χριστέ, ἐλέησόν με, τὸν ἁμαρτωλόν», χρησιμοποιώντας ὅποιον τρόπο τὸν βοηθεῖ. Κάποιος τὸ ἔλεγε, κτυπώντας τὰ χέρια του.
Τὸν εἶδα καὶ τὸν ρώτησα: Τί κάνεις ἐκεῖ; Καὶ μοῦ ἀπήντησε: Εἶχα μάθει μὲ τὰ μηχανήματα νὰ κουνῶ τὰ χέρια μου καὶ δὲν μπορῶ τώρα νὰ κάνω ἀλλοιῶς. Μπράβο, τοῦ λέγω, συγχαρητήρια. Βλέπετε πῶς τὸ κακό, ὁ θόρυβος, ποὺ εἶναι τὸ χειρότερο κακό, μπορεῖ νὰ βγάλη καὶ καλό; Κάποιος θαλασσινὸς τὸ ἔλεγε, ἔχοντας τὴν ἐντύπωσι ὅτι ἔπιανε τὰ κουπιά, γι’ αὐτὸ καὶ κουνοῦσε τὰ χέρια του. Πραγματικὰ ἔπιανε τὸ κουπί, τὸν Χριστόν.
Ἄρα, τὸ πᾶν μποροῦμε νὰ χρησιμοποιήσωμε. Ὅ,τι μᾶς δίνει ὁ Θεός, ὅ,τι μᾶς κάνουν οἱ ἄλλοι, ὅ,τι παθαίνομε μέσα μας καὶ γύρω μας, ὅλα εἶναι μεταγωγικὰ πρὸς τὸν Θεόν. Τόσο ἀπέραντη εἶναι ἡ ἀγάπη τοῦ Θεοῦ. Μόνον τὰ ἀποβράσματα τοῦ ἐγώ μας δὲν εἶναι σωτήρια. Αὐτὰ μᾶς ἀπομακρύνουν ἀπὸ τὸν Θεόν.
Γέροντας Αιμιλιανός Σιμωνοπετρίτης
Πηγή: εδώ
I have never told you, my brother Lazarus, [says monk Leontios] what happened to me several years ago, when I was young and had just been newly tonsured, which has to do with the subject of obedience.
I do not remember exactly, but it was either during 1916 or 1917 when my Elder of blessed memory advised me to make a prostration and to go serve at the mill located at Mariana as an attendant. Unfortunately, because I did not particularly like this dependency, I foolishly started to make excuses, arguing that I could not go because, supposedly, it was too cold, I did not have enough
clothing, perhaps I would get sick, and other such reasons. Additionally, there were many thieves wandering in that region, and I was afraid.
My Elder of blessed memory made the same recommendation to me again and again, assuring me that he would provide me with the all the necessary clothing and provisions. I distinctly remember him saying to me,
"Go ahead, my child. May you have the blessing of the Honorable Forerunner. Do obedience and go, because the manager is there all alone and needs help. Go my child..." I, however,
continued to retort with my usual obstinacy.
Finally, my Elder got fed up and tired with me, and vexed he left the matter in St. John's hands. This is how I left from the Elder's quarters and went to my room to retire for the evening.
But alas! Every time I think about what followed, my brother, I am always overcome with trembling with fear. About 8 or 9 o'clock that same evening, I saw a fearsome, towering man appear in my bedroom with a whip in his hand.
As I was lying down, I jumped out of bed horrified. No sooner had I stood on my feet when he started to lash me. "What type of a monk are you? Why don't you do obedience?" he remarked, and simultaneously he whacked from one direction ... he whacked me from the direction. I started to cry and begged him to stop hitting me, promising that I would henceforth be obedient.
Immediately, he vanished from sight. I was a nervous wreck as I ran that very moment to the Abbot's quarters. I woke up the Elder, and with tears and lamentation I fell at his feet and asked him to read me a prayer of absolution, I related to him what had taken place, and promised to never again disobey any of his orders. Thus my Elder
was appeased, he read me the prayer of absolution, I took courage, and I returned to my cell and rested peacefully. The next morning, as soon as I woke up, I packed my bags and set out for Mariana.
from the book
Narrations from Dionysiou Monastery
Η Χάρις του Θεού «η τα ασθενή θεραπεύουσα». Όταν εμείς αγωνιζόμαστε για αγνή και καθαρή ζωή, με προσευχή, Εξομολόγηση, θεία Κοινωνία, τότε δίνει πλούσια τη Χάρη Του, που αρδεύει την ψυχή, όπως το νερο ζωογονεί τα πάντα. Ο αδύναμος άνθρωπος που πέφτει, τρεκλίζει , όσο κι αν τον πολιορκεί η αμαρτία, να αγωνίζεται. Να μην το βάζει κάτω. Να λέει» ο Θεός είναι κοντά, μαζί μου· δεν θα μ’ αφήσει…
Γέροντας Ευσέβιος Γιαννακάκης
-Γέροντα, δεν έχω καθόλου κουράγιο.
-Ζηλεύεις, γι' αυτό δεν έχεις κουράγιο. Όταν ζηλεύη κανείς , στενοχωριέται, δεν μπορεί να φάη, οπότε αδυνατίζει και χάνει το κουράγιο του και οι άλλοι μπορεί να νομίζουν πως είναι μεγάλος ασκητής!
-Γέροντα, αισθάνομαι πολύ φτωχή πνευματικά και αδύναμη.
-Εσύ έχεις πολλές δυνάμεις, αλλά τις χαραμίζεις με την χαζή ζήλεια και, ενώ είσαι ένα αρχοντόπουλο, βασανίζεσαι σαν κακόμοιρο γυφτάκι. Θα είχες προχωρήσει πολύ στην πνευματική ζωή, αν δεν σκάλωνες στην ζήλεια. Πρόσεξε, γιατί η ζήλεια σου ρουφάει όλες τις ψυχικές και σωματικές σου δυνάμεις, που θα μπορούσες να τις προσφέρης θυσία στον Θεό. Εάν έδιωχνες την ζήλεια, και η προσευχή σου θα είχε δύναμη.
Με την ζήλεια αποδυναμώνεται κανείς πνευματικά . Γιατί ,νομίζετε, οι Απόστολοι δεν μπόρεσαν να βγάλουν το δαιμόνιο από το δαιμονισμένο παιδί , ενώ είχαν λάβει αυτήν την εξουσία από τον Χριστό και είχαν βγάλει άλλα δαιμόνια;
Επειδή ζήλεψαν, που ο Χριστός πήρε στην Μεταμόρφωση μόνον τους τρεις Μαθητές, τον Πέτρο, τον Ιάκωβο και τον Ιωάννη. Μπορούσε ο Χριστός να πάρη όλους τους Μαθητές , αλλά δεν ήταν όλοι σε κατάσταση να χωρέσουν αυτό το μυστήριο, γι' αυτό πήρε αυτούς που μπορούσαν να το χωρέσουν.
Λέτε να μην αγαπούσε τους άλλους Μαθητές; Ή μήπως αγαπούσε τον Ιωάννη περισσότερο από τους άλλους; Όχι, αλλά ο Ιωάννης αγαπούσε περισσότερο από τους άλλους μαθητές τον Χριστό και γι' αυτό καταλάβαινε την αγάπη του Χριστού καλύτερα. Είχε πολλή χωρητικότητα η μπαταρία του ήταν μεγάλη.
Βλέπετε πώς η ζήλεια απομάκρυνε την Χάρη του Θεού από τους άλλους Αποστόλους και δεν μπόρεσαν να γιατρέψουν το δαιμονισμένο παιδάκι; Γι' αυτό ο Χριστός είπε: «Ω γενεά άπιστος και διεστραμμένη! έως πότε έσομαι μεθ' υμών; έως πότε ανέξομαι υμών;»!
Από το βιβλίο: «ΠΑΘΗ ΚΑΙ ΑΡΕΤΕΣ» ΓΕΡΟΝΤΟΣ ΠΑΪΣΙΟΥ ΑΓΙΟΡΕΙΤΟΥ ΛΟΓΟΙ Ε΄
The rational soul of man has supernatural, infinite aspirations. If the rational soul were dependent upon the body and died together with the body, it should necessarily submit to the body and follow it in all its appetites. Independence would have been contrary both to the laws of nature and to reason, because it disturbs the harmony between the body and the soul. As dependent upon the body it should submit to the body and follow in all its appetites and desires, whereas, on the contrary, the soul masters the body, imposes its will upon the body. The soul subjugates and curbs the appetites and passions of the body, and directs them as it (the soul) wills. This phenomenon comes to the attention of every rational man; and whoever is conscious of his own rational soul is conscious of the soul's mastery over the body.
The mastery of the soul over the body is proved by the obedience of the body when it is being led with self-denial to sacrifice for the sake of the abstract ideas of the soul. The domination by the soul for prevalence of its principles, ideas, and views would have been entirely incomprehensible if the soul died together with the body. But a mortal soul would never have risen to such a height, would never have condemned itself to death along with the body for the prevalence of abstract ideas that lacked meaning, since no noble idea, no noble and courageous thought has any meaning for a mortal soul.
A soul, therefore, which is capable of such things, must be immortal.
Saint Nektarios of Aegina
When a child is Baptized into the Orthodox Church, he is linked to the Church’s spiritual powers, including the intercessory power of the Saint—as one united to Christ—after whom he is named. Throughout his life, the intercession, comfort, and protection of this Saint, as part of the Grace flowing from Christ, is available to him. It is for this reason, indeed, that we Orthodox celebrate Namedays, considering birthdays to be of secondary or minor importance.
When adults are Baptized into the Orthodox Church, they must take the name of an Orthodox Saint, if their previous name was not Orthodox. They must also use this name at all times. Otherwise, they will have broken the very bond of Baptism, which includes the establishment of a close and real relationship between the Christian and the Saint to whom he is spiritually joined in that Baptism. In the unthinkable, but all too frequent, case of modernists who Baptize or Chrismate converts and fail to give them Orthodox names, these converts should go to a sober, traditionalist Priest and ask that an Orthodox name be assigned, also asking that this be done in conjunction with a service of supplication to the Saint whose name they are taking. That name should subsequently be used at all times, without exception—among friends, at school, at work, etc. It can be added to a convert’s former name on a driver’s license and other forms of identification, since the law allows the addition of such a religious name, as long as it is not for the purpose of fraud or misrepresentation.
Needless to say, then, the idea of “Church names,” taken from the Latin practice of having confirmation names, is unacceptable to Orthodox and constitutes a perversion of the Church’s teaching. It involves a denial of spiritual consolation which is dangerous and which will have consequences for the believer that will be understood only fully at the Day of Judgment. Those who persist in ignoring Church tradition in this matter are simply playing with disbelief, blasphemy, and their souls.
—Orthodox Insights — Archbishop Chrysostomos, Bishop Avxentios, and Archimandrite Akakios
The man who asks your sincere forgiveness when doing wrong, you must forgive him, whenever wrong with kindness and to also love him up close. He who is evil and asks for forgiveness , inorder to get his way and then gets involved in your affairs , mentally harming other people, forgive him seventy-seven times and henceforth to show love to him from afar and to pray for him.
Elder Paisios
Ο άνθρωπος που σου ζητάει ειλικρινή συγχώρεση, όταν σφάλλει, να τον συγχωράς, κάθε φορά που σφάλλει, με καλοσύνη και να τον αγαπάς και από κοντά. Τον δε πονηρό που σου ζητάει δήθεν συγχώρεση, για να κάνει την δουλειά του και συνέχεια να σε μπλέκει στις υποθέσεις του, που βλάπτουν ψυχικά και άλλους ανθρώπους, συγχώρεσέ τον εβδομήντα επτά φορές μαζεμένες και στο εξής να τον αγαπάς από μακριά και να εύχεσαι γι' αυτόν.
Γέροντας Παΐσιος
Σου έκανε εκείνο, του έκανες εσύ, σου έκανε εκείνος, πάλι του έκανες εσύ… Αυτά δεν τελειώνουν. Εσύ δεν έπρεπε να συνεχίσεις την ανταπόδοση του κακού.
Όσιος Γεώργιος Καρσλίδης
He who has conquered passions has also defeated sorrow. But one overcome by passions will not avoid the shackles of sorrow. As an ill person can be identified by the color of his face, so is one overcome by passions distinguished by sorrow.
St. Seraphim of Sarov
Η οικογένεια είναι μια μικρή Εκκλησία
Ο εν τω κόσμω πιστός και τα μέλη της οικογένειας στην οποία ανήκει θα πρέπει να λειτουργούν ως μέλη μιας «κατ’ οίκον Εκκλησίας». Η οικογένεια είναι μία μικρή Εκκλησία. Θα πρέπει τα μέλη της, κατά μίμηση της μοναστικής Ενορίας, να καλλιεργήσουν την κοινή λειτουργική ζωή, την νηστεία, την φιλανθρωπία, την απλότητα και αφελότητα, την ανιδιοτελή αγάπη, την κοινή προσευχή μέσα στο σπίτι καθώς και την πνευματική συμμελέτη της Αγίας Γραφής και των Πατερικών συγγραφών.
Ο συμπνευματισμός, η φιλόθεος αδολεσχία και η κοινή προσευχή καλό είναι να γίνονται σε τακτά χρονικά διαστήματα και σε καθορισμένες ώρες που να μπορούν όλοι να συμμετέχουν. Τα μικρά παιδιά ας συμμετέχουν για λιγότερο χρόνο. Η νηστεία επίσης προσαρμόζεται από τον Πνευματικό ανάλογα με τις δυνατότητες και την ηλικία του καθενός.
Πρέπει να τονιστεί ότι η κατήχηση των παιδιών από τον πατέρα που έχει και την συμπαράσταση της μητέρας, καθώς και η κοινή τράπεζα το μεσημέρι και το βράδυ είναι πρακτικές που έχουν καίρια σημασία για… την πνευματική πρόοδο των μελών της οικογένειας και την εν Χριστώ ενότητά τους.
Η κοινή προσευχή ας γίνεται τουλάχιστον το πρωί, το βράδυ (το Απόδειπνο) καθώς και στο γεύμα και στο δείπνο (πριν και μετά). Υπάρχουν στα συνήθη προσευχητάρια οι τυποποιημένες προσευχές πριν και μετά το φαγητό τις οποίες καλό είναι να τις γνωρίζουν όλα τα μέλη της οικογένειας και να τις απαγγέλουν. Πολύ βοηθητικό για την οικογένεια είναι να έχουν όλα τα μέλη της τον ίδιο Πνευματικό οδηγό, στον οποίον να εξομολογούνται τακτικά.
Το κορυφαίο γεγονός στην χριστιανική οικογένεια είναι η Θεία Κοινωνία στην οποία όλοι, με την ευλογία του Πνευματικού, θα πρέπει να μετέχουν πολύ συχνά.
«Φύλακας άγγελος της οικογενείας» δίδασκε ένας αγιασμένος σύγχρονος Αγιορείτης είναι η άσκηση. «Όταν λέµε άσκηση εννοούµε τη λειτουργική ζωή της οικογενείας. Χωρίς την Εκκλησία δεν µπορεί να διατηρηθεί η οικογένεια. Η οικογένεια πρέπει να έχει τον Πνευµατικό της σαν τον οικογενειακό της γιατρό. Όταν είναι υπό την παρακολούθηση του Πνευµατικού λύνονται όλα τα προβλήµατα και οι σύζυγοι αλληλοκατανοούνται.
Η πνευµατική αγάπη ανέχεται και τα αρνητικά στοιχεία του άλλου. Δεν επιµένει εγωϊστικά να εκπληρώνονται όλα τα θελήµατά του. Η νηστεία, η προσευχή και η Θεία Λειτουργία αγιάζουν τα παιδιά και τους συζύγους. Η καλυτέρη πρακτική άσκηση είναι οι µετάνοιες.
Η µεγαλυτέρη όµως άσκηση και ευλογία στην οικογένεια είναι η συµµετοχή στην Θεία Κοινωνία. Πρέπει να εγκρατεύεστε και να ρυθµίζετε έτσι την ζωή σας, ώστε µε την ευλογία του Πνευµατικού σας να µπορείτε τακτικά να κοινωνάτε Σώμα και Αίμα Χριστού. Όταν το επιτύχετε αυτό δεν ζείτε σαρκικά, αλλά πνευµατικά και η Χάρις του Θεού αναπαύεται επάνω σας. Το πρόβληµα στην οικογένεια προέρχεται από τον σαρκικό τρόπο ζωής, διότι σκοτίζεται ο νους και αρχίζει η εµπάθεια και ο εγωϊσµός.
Όταν µάς κατευθύνει µόνο το σώµα κάνουµε πολλά λάθη.
Αλλάζουν όµως τα κριτήρια όταν υπάρχει άσκηση και η βίωση της χριστιανικής ζωής. Τότε υπάρχει ευλογία και χαρά στην οικογένεια. Ο Χριστός µάς τα δίνει όλα τα αγαθά και είναι όλα ευλογηµένα. Είναι κρίµα να µήν αγαπάτε την οµορφιά και την ζεστασιά που φέρνει ο Χριστός στην οικογένεια!»
Πολύ βοηθητικό για τα μέλη της χριστιανικής οικογένειας είναι το να εκμεταλλεύονται τις διάφορες πνευματικές ευκαιρίες, να παρακολουθούν τις διαλέξεις-κηρύγματα του Πνευματικού τους και άλλων αγιασμένων προσωπικοτήτων.
Επίσης συντελούν πολύ στην πνευματική πρόοδο οι επισκέψεις σε Μοναστήρια και ο σύνδεσμος μικρών και μεγάλων με Γέροντες και Γερόντισσες. Ιδιαίτερα τα παιδιά πολύ βοηθούνται όταν αναπτύξουν πνευματική φιλία με καλούς μοναχούς, τα αγόρια και εξαγιασμένες μοναχές τα κορίτσια. Η αλληλοσυμβουλευτική που αναπτύσσεται μεταξύ των νέων δεν βοηθεί, αντίθετα τους βλάπτει πολύ. Η επικοινωνία με αγιασμένους μοναχούς μπορεί να την υποκαταστήσει πολύ επιτυχημένα.
Παράλληλα με την οικογενειακή Πνευματική ζωή ο ποιμένας της κοσμικής Ενορίας οφείλει ιδιαίτερα να μεριμνήσει ώστε να δημιουργηθεί στην Ενορία μία ακμάζουσα λατρευτική ζωή.
Ιερομόναχος Σάββας Αγιορείτης
Στο ταξίδι για την Ιθάκη
η Πίστη ενδυναμώνει,
η Ελπίδα δίνει φτερά,
η Αγάπη πάντα κερδίζει.
Στο ταξίδι για την Ιθάκη
η Σοφία λαμπρύνει με θυσίες,
η Αρετή αποκτιέται με κόπο,
η Ουσία μας επιστρέφεται.
Στο ταξίδι για την Ιθάκη
η Αλήθεια ελευθερώνει,
η Ενατένιση πλουταίνει,
η Θέωση ταπεινώνει.
Καλόν αγώνα!
Πηγή: εδώ
by Hieromonk Seraphim (Rose) of Platina
“It is truly later than we think; the Apocalypse is now.“
Before beginning my talk, a word or two on why it is important to have an Orthodox world-view, and why it is more difficult to build one today than in past centuries.
In past centuries—for example, in 19th century Russia—the Orthodox world-view was an important part of Orthodox life and was supported by the life around it. There was no need even to speak of it as a separate thing—you lived Orthodoxy in harmony with the Orthodox society around you, and you had an Orthodox world-view provided by the Church and society. In many countries the government itself confessed Orthodoxy; it was the center of public functions and the king or ruler himself was historically the first Orthodox layman with a responsibility to give a Christian example to all his subjects. Every city had Orthodox churches, and many of them had services every day, morning and evening. There were monasteries in all the great cities, in many cities, outside the cities, and in the countryside, in deserts and wildernesses. In Russia there were more than 1000 officially organized monasteries, in addition to other more unofficial groups. Monasticism was an accepted part of life. Most families, in fact, had somewhere in them a sister or brother, uncle, grandfather, cousin or someone who was a monk or a nun, in addition to all the other examples of Orthodox life: people who wandered from monastery to monastery, and fools for Christ. The whole way of life was permeated with Orthodox kinds of people, of which, of course, monasticism is the center. Orthodox customs were a part of daily life. Most books that were commonly read were Orthodox. Daily life itself was difficult for most people: they had to work hard to survive, life expectancy was not great, death was a frequent reality—all of which reinforced the Church’s teaching on the reality and nearness of the other world. Living an Orthodox life in such circumstances was really the same thing as having an Orthodox world-view, and there was little need to talk of such a thing.
Today, on the other hand, all this has changed. Our Orthodoxy is a little island in the midst of a world which operates on totally different principles—and every day these principles are changing for the worse, making us more and more alienated from it. Many people are tempted to divide their lives into two sharply distinct categories: the daily life we lead at work, with worldly friends, in our worldly business, and Orthodoxy, which we live on Sundays and at other times in the week when we have time for it. But the world-view of such a person, if you look at it closely, is often a strange combination of Christian values and worldly values, which really do not mix. The purpose of this talk is to see how people living today can begin to make their world-view more of one piece, to make it a whole Orthodox world-view.
Orthodoxy is life. If we don’t live Orthodoxy, we simply are not Orthodox, no matter what formal beliefs we might hold.
Life in our contemporary world has become very artificial, very uncertain, very confusing. Orthodoxy, it is true, has a life of its own, but it is also not very far from the life of the world around it, and so the life of the Orthodox Christian, even when he is being truly Orthodox, cannot help but reflect it in some way. A kind of uncertainty and confusion have also entered into Orthodox life in our times. In this talk we will try to look at contemporary life, and then at Orthodox life, to see how better we might fulfill our Christian obligation to lead other-worldly lives even in these quite terrible times, and to have an Orthodox Christian view of the whole of life today that will enable us to survive these times with our faith intact.
Life Today Has Become Abnormal
Anyone who looks at our contemporary life from the perspective of the normal life lived by people in earlier times—say, Russia, or America, or any country of Western Europe in the 19th century—cannot help but be struck by the fact of how abnormal life has become today. The whole concept of authority and obedience, of decency and politeness, of public and private behavior—all have changed drastically, have been turned upside down except in a few isolated pockets of people—usually Christians of some kind—who try to preserve the so-called “old-fashioned” way of life.
Our abnormal life today can be characterized as spoiled, pampered. From infancy today’s child is treated, as a general rule, like a little god or goddess in the family: his whims are catered to, his desires fulfilled.; he is surrounded by toys, amusements, comforts; he is not trained and brought up according to strict principles of Christian behavior, but left to develop whichever way his desires incline. It is usually enough for him to say, “I want it!” or “I won’t do it!” for his obliging parents to bow down before him and let him have his way. Perhaps this does not happen all the time in every family, but it happens often enough to be the rule of contemporary childrearing, and even the best-intentioned parents do not entirely escape its influence. Even if the parents try to raise the child strictly, the neighbors are trying to do something else. They have to take that into consideration when disciplining the child.
When such a child becomes an adult, he naturally surrounds himself with the same things he was used to in his childhood: comforts, amusements, and grown-up toys. Life becomes a constant search for “fun” which, by the way, is a word totally unheard of in any other vocabulary; in 19th century Russia they wouldn’t have understood what this word meant, or any serious civilization. Life is a constant search for “fun” which is so empty of any serious meaning that a visitor from any 19th-century country, looking at our popular television programs, amusement parks, advertisements, movies, music—at almost any aspect of our popular culture—would think he had stumbled across a land of imbeciles who have lost all contact with normal reality. We don’t often take that into consideration, because we are living in this society and we take it for granted.
Some recent observers of our contemporary life have called the young people of today the “me generation” and our times the “age of narcissism,” characterized by a worship of and fascination with oneself that prevents a normal human life from developing. Others have spoken of the”plastic” universe or fantasy world in which so many people live today, unable to face or come to terms with the reality of the world around them or the problems within themselves.
When the “me generation” turns to religion—which has been happening very frequently in the past several decades—it is usually to a “plastic” or fantasy form of religion: a religion of “self-development” (where the self remains the object of worship), of brainwashing and mind-control, of deified gurus and swamis, of a pursuit of UFO’s and “extra-terrestrial” beings, of abnormal spiritual states and feelings. We will not go into all these manifestations there, which are probably familiar enough to most of you, except to discuss a little later how these touch on the Orthodox Christian spiritual life of our days.
It is important for us to realize, as we try ourselves to lead a Christian life today, that the world which has been formed by our pampered times. makes demands on the soul, whether in religion or in secular life, which are what one has to call totalitarian. This is easy enough to see in the mind-bending cults that have received so much publicity in recent years, and which demand total allegiance to a self-made “holy man”; but it is just as evident in secular life, where one is confronted not just by an individual temptation here or there, but by a constant state of temptation that attacks one, whether in the background music heard everywhere in markets and businesses, in the public signs and billboards of city streets, in the rock music which is brought even to forest campgrounds and trails, and in the home itself, where television often becomes the secret ruler of the household, dictating modern values, opinions, and tastes. If you have young children, you know how true this is; when they have seen something on television how difficult it is to fight against this new opinion which has been given as an authority by the television.
The message of this universal temptation that attacks men today—quite openly in its secular forms, but usually more hidden in its religious forms—is:Live for the present, enjoy yourself, relax, be comfortable. Behind this message is another, more sinister undertone which is openly expressed only in the officially atheist countries which are one step ahead of the free world in this respect. In fact, we should realize that what is happening in the world today is very similar whether it occurs behind the Iron Curtain or in the free world. There are different varieties of it, but there is a very similar attack to get our soul. In the communist countries which have an official doctrine of atheism, they tell quite openly that you are to: Forget about God and any other life but the present; remove from your life the fear of God and reverence for holy things; regard those who still believe in God in the “old-fashioned’ way as enemies who must be exterminated. One might take, as a symbol of our carefree, fun-loving, self-worshipping times, our American “Disneyland”; if so, we should not neglect to see behind it the more sinister symbol that shows where the “me generation” is really heading: the Soviet Gulag, the chain of concentration camps that already governs the life of nearly half the world’s population.
Two False Approaches to Spiritual Life
But what, one might ask, does all this have to do with us, who are trying to lead, as best we can, a sober Orthodox Christian life? It has a lot to do with it. We have to realize that the life around us, abnormal though it is, is the place where we begin our own Christian life. Whatever we make of our life, whatever truly Christian content we give it, is still has something of the stamp of the “me generation” on it, and we have to be humble enough to see this. This is where we begin.
There are two false approaches to the life around us that many often make today, thinking that somehow this is what Orthodox Christians should be doing. One approach—the most common one—is simply to go along with the times: adapt yourself to rock music, modern fashions and tastes, and the whole rhythm of our jazzed-up modern life. Often the more old-fashioned parents will have little contact with this life and will live their own life more or less separately, but they will smile to see their children follow after its latest craze and think that this is something harmless.
This path is total disaster for the Christian life; it is the death of the soul. Some can still lead an outwardly respectable life without struggling against the spirit of the times, but inwardly they are dead or dying; and— the saddest thing of all—their children will pay the price in various psychic and spiritual disorders and sicknesses which become more and more common. One of the leading members of the suicide cult that ended so spectacularly in Jonestown four years ago was the young daughter of a Greek Orthodox priest; satanic rock groups like Kiss—”Kids in Satan’s Service”—are made up of ax-Russian Orthodox young people; the largest part of the membership of the temple of satan in San Francisco, according to a recent sociological survey—is made up of Orthodox boys. These are only a few striking cases; most Orthodox young people don’t go so far astray—they just blend in with the anti-Christian world around them and cease to be examples of any kind of Christianity for those around them.
This is wrong. The Christian must be different from the world, above all from today’s weird, abnormal world, and this must be one of the basic things he knows as part of his Christian upbringing. Otherwise there is no point in calling ourselves Christian—much less Orthodox Christians.
The false approach at the opposite extreme is one that one might call false spirituality. As translations of Orthodox books on the spiritual life become more widely available, and the Orthodox vocabulary of spiritual struggle is placed more and more in the air, one finds an increasing number of people talking about hesychasm, the Jesus Prayer, the ascetic life, exalted states of prayer, and the most exalted Holy Fathers like St. Symeon the New Theologian, St. Gregory Palamas, and St. Gregory the Sinaite. It is all very well to be aware of this truly exalted side of Orthodox spiritual life and to have reverence for the great saints who have actually lived it; but unless we have a very realistic and very humble awareness of how far away all of us today are from the life of hesychasm and how little prepared we are even to approach it, our interest in it will be only one more expression of our self-centered, plastic universe. “The me-generation goes hesychast!”— that is what some are trying to do today; but in actuality they are only adding a new game called “hesychasm” to the attractions of Disneyland.
There are books on this subject now that are very popular. In fact, Roman Catholics are going in very big for this kind of thing under Orthodox influence and themselves influencing other Orthodox people. For example, there is a Jesuit priest, Fr. George Maloney, who writes all kinds of books on this subject and translates St. Macarius the Great and St. Symeon the New Theologian and tries to get people in everyday life to be hesychasts. They have all kinds of retreats, usually “charismatic”; people are inspired by the Holy Spirit, supposedly, and undertake all types of these disciplines which we get from the Holy Fathers, and which are far beyond the level at which we are today. It is a very unserious thing. There is also a lady, Catherine de Hueck Doherty (in fact, she was born in Russia and became a Roman Catholic), who writes books about Poustinia, the desert life, and Molchanie, the silent life, and all these things which she tries to put into life like you would have some fashion for a new candy. This, of course, is very unserious and is a very tragic sign of our times. These kind of exalted things are being used by people who have no idea of what they are about. For some people it is only a habit or a pastime; for others who take it seriously, it can be a great tragedy. They think they are leading some kind of exalted life and really they have not come to terms with their own problems inside of them.
Let me re-emphasize that both of these extremes are to be avoided—both worldliness and super-spirituality—but this does not mean that we should not have a realistic awareness of the legitimate demands which the world makes upon us, or that we should cease respecting and taking sound instruction from the great hesychast Fathers and using the Jesus prayer ourselves, according to our circumstances and capacity. It just has to be on our level, down to earth. The point is—and it is a point that is absolutely necessary for our survival as Orthodox Christians today—we must realize our situation as Orthodox Christians today; we must realize deeply what times we live in, how little we actually know and feel our Orthodoxy, how far we are not just from the saints of ancient times, but even from the ordinary Orthodox Christians of a hundred years or even a generation ago, and how much we must humble ourselves just to strive as Orthodox Christians today.
What We Can Do
More specifically, what can we do to gain this awareness, this realization, and how can we make it fruitful in our lives? I will try to answer this question in two parts: first, concerning our awareness of the world around us, which as never before in the history of Christianity has become our conscious enemy; and second, concerning our awareness of Orthodoxy, which, I am afraid, most of us know much less than we should, much less than we have to know if we wish to keep it.
First, since whether we wish it or not we are in the world (and its effects are felt strongly even in a remote place like our monastery here), we must face it and its temptations squarely and realistically, but without giving in to it; in particular, we must prepare our young people for the temptations facing them, and as it were inoculate them against these temptations. We must be aware that the world around us seldom helps and almost always hinders the upbringing of the child in the true Orthodox spirit. We must be ready every day to answer the influence of the world by the principles of a sound Christian upbringing.
This means that what a child learns at school must constantly be checked and corrected at home. We cannot assume that something he is going to learn at school is simply something that is profitable or secular and has nothing to do with his Orthodox upbringing. He may be taught useful skills and facts (although many schools in America today are failing miserably even at this; many school teachers tell us that all they can do is keep the children in good order in class without even teaching them anything), but even if he gets this much, he is also taught many wrong attitudes and philosophies. A child’s basic attitude towards and appreciation of literature, music, history, art, philosophy, even science, and of course life and religion—must come first of all not from school, for the school will give you all this mixed up with modern philosophy; it must come first from the home and Church, or else he is bound to be miseducated in today’s world, where public education is at best agnostic, and at worst openly atheistic or anti-religious. Of course, in the Soviet Union all this is forced upon the child, with no religion whatsoever and an active program of making the child an atheist.
Parents must know exactly what is being taught their children in education courses, which are almost universal today in American schools, and correct it at home, not only by a frank attitude to this subject (especially between fathers and sons—a very rare thing in American society), but also by a clear setting forth of the moral aspect of it which is totally absent in public education.
Parents must know just what kind of music their children are listening to, what is in the movies they see (listening and seeing together with them when necessary), what kind of language they are exposed to and what kind of language they use, and give the Christian attitude to all this.
Television—in households where there is not enough courage to throw it out the window—must be strictly controlled and supervised to avoid the poisonous effects of this machine which has become the leading educator of anti-Christian attitudes and ideas in the home itself, especially to the young.
I speak about the raising of children because this is where the world first strikes its blows at Orthodox Christians and forms them in its image; once wrong attitudes have been formed in a child, the task of giving him a Christian education becomes doubly difficult.
But it is not only children, it is all of us, who are facing the world which is trying to form us in anti-Christianity, by means of schools, television, movies, popular music, and all the other influences that pound in upon us, most of all in the big cities. We have to be aware that what is being pounded in upon us is all of one piece; it has a certain rhythm, a certain message to give us, this message of self-worship, of relaxing, of letting go, of enjoying yourself, of giving up any thought of the other world, in various forms, whether in music, or in movies, television, or what is being taught in schools, the way subjects are emphasized, the way the background is given, and everything else; there is one particular thing which is being given to us. It is actually an education in atheism. We have to fight back by knowing just what the world is trying to do to us, and by formulating and communicating our Orthodox Christian response to it.
Frankly, from observing the way Orthodox families in today’s world live and pass on their Orthodoxy, it would seem that this battle is more often lost than won. The percentage of Orthodox Christians who retain their Orthodox identity intact and are not changed into the image of today’s world, is small indeed.
Still, it is not necessary to view the world around us as all bad. In fact, for our survival as Orthodox Christians we have to be smart enough to use whatever is positive in the world for our own benefit. Here I will go into a few points where we can use something in the world which seems to have nothing to do directly with Orthodoxy in order to formulate our Orthodox world-view.
The child who has been exposed from his earliest years to good classical music, and has seen his soul being developed by it, will not be nearly as tempted by the crude rhythm and message of rock and other contemporary forms of pseudo-music as someone who has grown up without a musical education. Such a musical education, as several of the Optina elders have said, refines the soul and prepares it for the reception of spiritual impressions.
The child who has been educated in good literature, drama, and poetry and has felt their effect in his own soul—that is, has really enjoyed them—, will not easily become an addict of the contemporary movies and television programs and cheap novels that devastate the soul and take it away from the Christian path.
The child who has learned to see beauty in classical painting and sculpture will not easily be drawn into the perversity of contemporary art or be attracted by the garish products of modern advertising and pornography.
The child who knows something of the history of the world, especially in Christian times, and how other people have lived and thought, what mistakes and pitfalls people have fallen into by departing from God and His commandments, and what glorious and influential lives they have lived when they were faithful to Him—will be discerning about the life and philosophy of our own times and will not be inclined to follow the first new philosophy or way of life he encounters. One of the basic problems facing the education of children today is that in the schools they are no longer given a sense of history. It is a dangerous and fatal thing to deprive a child of a sense of history. It means that he has no ability to take examples from the people who lived in the past. And actually, history constantly repeats itself. Once you see that, it becomes interesting how people have answered problems, how there have been people who have gone against God and what results came from that, and how people changed their lives and became exceptions and gave an example which is lived down to our own times. This sense of history is a very important thing which should be communicated to children.
In general, the person who is well acquainted with the best products of secular culture—which in the West almost always has definite religious and Christian overtones—has a much better chance of leading a normal, fruitful Orthodox life than someone who knows only the popular culture of today. One who is converted to Orthodoxy straight from “rock” culture, and in general anyone who thinks he can combine Orthodoxy with that kind of culture—has much suffering to go through and a difficult road in life before he can become a truly serious Orthodox Christian who is capable of handing on his faith to others. Without this suffering, without this awareness, Orthodox parents will raise their children to be devoured by the contemporary world. The world’s best culture, properly received, refines and develops the soul; today’s popular culture cripples and deforms the soul and hinders it from having a full and normal response to the message of Orthodoxy.
Therefore, in our battle against the spirit of this world, we can use the best things the world has to offer in order to go beyond them; everything good in the world, if we are only wise enough to see it, points to God, and to Orthodoxy, and we have to make use of it.
The Orthodox World-view
With such an attitude—a view of both the good things and the bad things in the world—it is possible for us to have and to fire an Orthodox world-view, that is, an Orthodox view on the whole of life, not just on narrow church subjects. There exists a false opinion, which unfortunately is all too widespread today, that it is enough to have an Orthodoxy that is limited to the church building and formal “Orthodox” activities, such as praying at certain times or making the sign of the Cross; in everything else, so this opinion goes, one can be like anyone else, participating in the life and culture of our times without any problem, as long as we don’t commit sin.
Anyone who has come to realize how deep Orthodoxy is, and how full is the commitment which is required of the serious Orthodox Christian, and likewise what totalitarian demands the contemporary world makes on us, will easily see how wrong this opinion is. One is Orthodox all the time every day, in every situation of life, or one is not really Orthodox at all. Our Orthodoxy is revealed not just in our strictly religious views, but in everything we do and say. Most of us are very unaware of the Christian, religious responsibility we have for the seemingly secular part of our lives. The person with a truly Orthodox world-view lives every part of his life as Orthodox.
Let us, therefore, ask here: How can we nourish and support this Orthodox world-view in our daily life?
The first and most obvious way is to be in constant contact with the sources of Christian nourishment, with everything that the Church gives us for our enlightenment and salvation: the Church services and Holy Mysteries, Holy Scripture, the Lives of Saints, the writings of the Holy Fathers. One must, of course, read books that are on one’s own level of understanding, and apply the Church’s teaching to one’s own circumstances in life; then they can be fruitful in guiding us and changing us in a Christian way.
But often these basic Christian sources do not have their full effect on us, or don’t really affect us at all, because we don’t have the right Christian attitude towards them and towards the Christian life they are supposed to inspire. Let me now say a word here about what our attitude should be if we are to obtain real benefit from them and if they are going to be for us the beginning of a truly Orthodox world-view.
First of all, Christian spiritual food, by its very nature, is something living and nourishing; if our attitude towards it is merely academic and bookish, we will fail to get the benefit it is meant to give. Therefore, if we read Orthodox books or are interested in Orthodoxy only to gain information—or show off our knowledge to others, we are missing the point; if we learn of the commandments of God and the law of His Church merely to be “correct” and to judge the “incorrectness” of others, we are missing the point. These things must not merely affect our ideas, but must directly touch our lives and change them. In any time of great crisis in human affairs—such as the critical times right in front of us in the free world—those who place their trust in outward knowledge, in laws and canons and correctness, will be unable to stand. The strong ones then will be those whose Orthodox education has given them a feel for what is truly Christian, those whose Orthodoxy is in the heart and is capable of touching other hearts.
Nothing is more tragic than to see someone who is raised in Orthodoxy, has a certain idea of the catechism, has read some Lives of Saints, has a general idea of what Orthodoxy stands for, understands some of the services, and then is unaware of what is going on around him. And he gives his children this life in two categories: one is the way most people live and the other way is how Orthodox live on Sundays and when they are reading some Orthodox text. When a child is raised like that he is most likely not going to take the Orthodox one; it is going to be a very small part of his life, because the contemporary life is too attractive, too many people are going for it, it is too much a part of reality today, unless he has been really taught how to approach it, how to guard himself against the bad effects of it and how to take advantage of the good things which are in the world.
Therefore, our attitude, beginning right now, must be down-to-earth and nominal. That is, it must be applied to the real circumstances of our life, not a product of fantasy and escapism and refusal to face the often unpleasant facts of the world around us. An Orthodoxy that is too exalted and too much in the clouds belongs in a hothouse and is incapable of helping us in our daily life, let alone saying anything for the salvation of those around us. Our world is quite cruel and wounds souls with its harshness; we need to respond first of all with down-to-earth Christian love and understanding, leaving accounts of hesychasm and advanced forms of prayer to those capable of receiving them.
So also, our attitude must be not self-centered but reaching out to those who are seeking for God and for a godly life. Nowadays, wherever there is a good-sized Orthodox community, the temptation is to make it into a society for self-congratulation and for taking delight in our Orthodox virtues and achievements: the beauty of our church buildings and furnishings, the splendor of our services, even the purity of our doctrine. But the true Christian life, even since the time of the Apostles, has always been inseparable from communicating it to others. An Orthodoxy that is alive by this very fact shines forth to others—and there is no need to open a “department of missions” to do this; the fire of true Christianity communicates itself without this. If our Orthodoxy is only something we keep for ourselves, and boast about it, then we are the dead burying the dead—which is precisely the state of many of our Orthodox parishes today, even those that have a large number of young people, if they are not going deeply into their Faith. It is not enough to say that the young people are going to church. We need to ask what they are getting in church, what they are taking away from church, and, if they are not making Orthodoxy a part of their whole life, then it really is not sufficient to say that they are going to church.
Likewise, our attitude must be loving and forgiving. There is a kind of hardness that has crept into Orthodox life today: “That man is a heretic; don’t go near him;” “that one is Orthodox, supposedly, but you can’t really be sure;” “that one there is obviously a spy.” No one will deny that the Church is surrounded by enemies today, or that there are some who stoop to taking advantage of our trust and confidence. But this is the way it has been since the time of the Apostles, and the Christian life has always been something of a risk in this practical way. But even if we are sometimes taken advantage of and do have to show some caution in this regard, still we cannot give up our basic attitude of love and trust without which we lose one of the very foundations of our Christian life. The world, which has no Christ, has to be mistrustful and cold, but Christians, on the contrary, have to be loving and open, or else we will lose the salt of Christ within us and become just like the world, good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden underfoot.
A little humility in looking at ourselves would help us to be more generous and forgiving of the faults of others. We love to judge others for the strangeness of their behavior; we call them “cuckoos” or “crazy converts.” It is true that we should beware of really unbalanced people who can do us great harm in the Church. But what serious Orthodox Christian today is not a little “crazy”? We don’t fit in with the ways of this world; if we do, in today’s world, we aren’t serious Christians. The true Christian today cannot be at home in the world; he cannot help but feel himself and be regarded by others as a little “crazy.” Just to keep alive the ideal of other-worldly Christianity today, or to get baptized as an adult, or to pray seriously, is enough to put you into a crazy house in the Soviet Union and in many other countries, and these countries are leading the way for the rest of the world to follow.
Therefore, let us not be afraid of being considered a little “crazy” by the world, and let us continue to practice the Christian love and forgiveness which the world can never understand, but which in its heart it needs and even craves.
Finally, our Christian attitude must be what, for want of a better word, I would call innocent. Today the world places a high value on sophistication, on being worldly-wise, on being a “professional.” Orthodoxy places no value on these qualities; they kill the Christian soul. And yet these qualities constantly creep into the Church and into our lives. How often one hears enthusiastic converts especially, express their desire of going to the great Orthodox centers, the cathedrals and monasteries where sometimes thousands of the faithful come together and everywhere the talk is of church matters, and one can feel how important Orthodoxy is, after all. That Orthodoxy is a small drop in the bucket when you look at the whole society, but in these great cathedrals and monasteries there are so many people that it seems as though it is really an important thing. And how often one sees these same people in a pitiful state after they have indulged their desire, returning from the “great Orthodox centers” sour and dissatisfied, filled with worldly church gossip and criticism, anxious above all to be “correct” and “proper” and worldly-wise about church politics. In a word, they have lost their innocence, their unworldliness, being led astray by their fascination with the worldly side of the Church’s life.
In various forms, this is a temptation to us all, and we must fight it by not allowing ourselves to overvalue the externals of the Church, but always returning to the “one thing needful”: Christ and the salvation of our souls from this wicked generation. We needn’t be ignorant of what goes on in the world and in the Church—in fact, for our own selves we have to know—but our knowledge must be practical and simple and single-minded, not sophisticated and worldly.
Conclusion
It is obvious to any Orthodox Christian who is aware of what is going on around him today, that the world is coming to its end. The signs of the times are so obvious that one might say that the world is crashing to its end.
What are some of these signs?
—The abnormality of the world. Never have such weird and unnatural manifestations and behavior been accepted as a matter of course as in our days. Just look at the world around you: what is in the newspapers, what kind of movies are being shown, what is on television, what it is that people think is interesting and amusing, what they laugh at; it is absolutely weird. And there are people who deliberately promote this, of course, for their own financial benefit, and because that is the fashion, because there is a perverse craving for this kind of thing.
—The wars and rumors of wars, each more cold and merciless than the preceding, and all overshadowed by the treat of the unthinkable universal nuclear war, which could be set off by the touch of a button.
—The widespread natural disasters: earthquakes, and now volcanoes— the newest one forming not far from here near Yosemite Park in central California—which are already changing the world’s weather patterns.
—The increasing centralization of information on and power over the individual, represented in particular by the enormous new computer in Luxembourg, which has the capacity to keep a file of information on every man living; its code number is 666 and it is nicknamed “the beast” by those who work on it. To facilitate the working of such computers, the American government plans to begin in 1984 the issuance of Social Security checks to persons with a number (apparently including the code number 666) stamped on their right hand or forehead—precisely the condition which will prevail, according to the Apocalypse (ch. 13) during the reign of antichrist. Of course, it doesn’t mean that the first person to get himself stamped 666 is the antichrist, or the servant of antichrist, but once you are used to this, who will be able to resist? They will train you first and then they will make you bow down to him.
—Again, the multiplication of false Christs and false Antichrists. The latest candidate just this summer spent probably millions of dollars advertising his impending appearance on world television, promising to give at that time a “telepathic message” to all the world’s inhabitants. Quite apart from any occult powers that might be involved in such events, we already know well enough the opportunities for presenting subliminal messages by radio and especially by television, as well as the fact that this can be done by anyone with the technology for breaking into normal radio and television signals, no matter how many laws there might be against it.
—The truly weird response to the new movie everyone in America is talking about and seeing: “E.T.”, which has caused literally millions of seemingly normal people to express their affection and love for the hero, a “Saviour” from outer space who is quite obviously a demon—an obvious preparation for the worship of the coming Antichrist. (And incidentally, the movie editor of the official Greek Archdiocese newspaper in America, an Orthodox priest, has heartily recommended this movie to Orthodox people saying that it is a wonderful movie which can teach us about love, and everyone should go see it. There is quite a contrast between people who are trying to be aware of what is going on, and those who are simply led into the mood of the times.)
I could go on with details like this, but my purpose is not to frighten you, but to make you aware of what is happening around us. It is truly later than we think; the Apocalypse is now. And how tragic it is to see Christians, and above all Orthodox young people, with this incalculable tragedy hanging over their heads, who think they can continue what is called a “normal life” in these terrible times, participating fully in the whims of this silly, self-worshipping generation, totally unaware that the fool’s paradise we are living in is about to crash, completely unprepared for the desperate times that lie just ahead of us. There is no longer even a question of being a “good” or a “poor” Orthodox Christian; the question now is: will our Faith survive at all? With many, it will not survive; the coming Antichrist will be too attractive, too much in the spirit of the worldly things we now crave, for most men even to know that they have lost their Christianity by bowing down to him.
Still the call of Christ comes to us; let us begin to heed it. The clearest expression of this call today is coming from the enslaved atheist world, where there is real suffering for Christ and a seriousness of life which we are rapidly losing or have already lost. One Orthodox priest in Romania, Fr. George Calciu, is now near death in a communist prison for daring to challenge young seminarians and students to put off their blind allegiance to the spirit of the times and come forward to labor for Christ. After speaking of the emptiness of atheism, he tells today’s young people: “I call you to a much higher flight, to total abandonment, to an act of courage which defies reason. I call you to God. To the One that transcends the world so that you might know an infinite heaven of spiritual joy, the heaven which you presently grope for in your personal hell, and which you seek even while in a state of non-deliberate revolt….Jesus has always loved you, but now you have the choice to respond to His invitation. In responding, you are ordained to go and bear fruit that will remain. To be a prophet of Christ in the world in which you live. To love your neighbor as yourself and to make all men your friend. To proclaim by every action this unique and limitless love which has raised man from the level of a serf to that of a friend of God. To the prophets of this liberating love which delivers you from all constraint, returning to you your integrity as you offer yourself to God.”
Fr. George, speaking to young people who had little inspiration to serve Christ’s Church because they had accepted the worldly opinion (common also among us in the free world) that the Church is only a set of buildings or a worldly organization, calls them and us to a deeper awareness of Christ’s Church and of how our “formal membership” in it is not enough to save us.
“The Church of Christ is alive and free. In her we move and have our being, through Christ Who is her Head. In Him we have full freedom. In the Church we learn of truth and the truth will set us free (John 8:32). You are in Christ’s Church whenever you uplift someone bent down in sorrow, or when you give alms to the poor, and visit the sick. You are in Christ’s Church when you cry out: “Lord, help me.” You are in Christ’s Church when you are good and patient, when you refuse to get angry at your brother, even if he has wounded your feelings. You are in Christ’s Church when you pray: ‘Lord, forgive him.’ When you work honestly at your job, returning home weary in the evenings but with a smile upon your lips; when you repay evil with love—you are in Christ’s Church. Do you not see, therefore, young friend, how close the Church of Christ is? You are Peter and God is building His Church upon you. You are the rock of His Church against which nothing can prevail….Let us build churches with our faith, churches which no human power can pull down, a church whose foundation is Christ….Feel for your brother alongside you. Never ask: ‘Who is he?’ Rather say: ‘He is no stranger; he is my brother. He is the Church of Christ just as I am.”
With such a call in our hearts, let us begin really to belong to the Church of Christ, the Orthodox Church. Outward membership is not enough; something must move within us that makes us different from the world around us, even if that world calls itself “Christian” and even “Orthodox.” Let us keep and nourish those qualities of the true Orthodox world-view which I mentioned earlier: a living, normal attitude, loving and forgiving, not self-centered, preserving our innocence and unworldliness even with a full and humble awareness of our own sinfulness and the power of the worldly temptations around us. If we truly live this Orthodox world-view, our Faith will survive the shocks ahead of us and be a source of inspiration and salvation for those who will still be seeking Christ even amidst the shipwreck of humanity which has already begun today.
From The Orthodox Word, vol. 18, no. 4 (105), July-August 1982, pp. 160-176.
(Source)
I heard the following account that took place in 1937 [says monk Lazaros] to my amazement and surprise from monk Chrysanthos:
"As you are aware, Father Lazarus, for many years now I have repeatedly attempted to become a
director and member the monastery’s Council of Elders.
After trying at length, pleading with various fathers, and oftentimes bringing this matter up
with the Abbot without success, I became
extremely distraught and upset.Through the
synergy of the devil, I became despondent and my mind was darkened to such an extent that I decided to put an end to my life. "Can you believe it?" I would ask myself.
"They appoint so many other younger monks to
this position! But they disregard me, even though I have grown old in this monastery working at so many different assignments! I will not tolerate this any longer. I'll go down to the shore, and jump in the ocean then it will be on their conscience."
I pondered on these thoughts for a several days, until I firmly decided to go through with it. However, our merciful Lord, through the intercessions of our holy patron Saint John the Honorable Forerunner, gave me the thought to fast for three days prior to executing my plan.
I thus isolated myself in my room for three days.
I shut my door and window shutters, and, within the darkness of my cell, I prayed continuously for two days and nights without eating or drinking anything, without even lying down on my bed. I prayed standing, then seated, and when I sensed sleep coming on, I would again arise to pray. On the third day, around 10 o'clock in the evening, suddenly a brilliant light appeared that lit up my entire room.
Simultaneously, I heard a loud voice saying to me: "Why aren't you at peace? Why are you distraught
and planning to go down to the shore to drown in t
he sea?" As soon as I saw the light and heard this voice, the sadness and dejection that had been plaguing me altogether disappeared, and I began
crying, wailing, and shedding tears, asking for forgiveness, and confessing that I had sinned and been deceived by the evil one: "Forgive me, Saint John..." He then responded, "Why have you stopped chanting?
Why haven't you approached the chanter's stand this past week, but instead you wander about here and there asking to become a director? Don't I know who should become a director? If I don't want you to become a director, how can you become one? Don't I know who should become a director?" In the meantime, I had fallen to the ground and was weeping ceaselessly,
begging for forgiveness, and promising that henceforth I would be at peace, I would return to the chanter's stand, and never again seek to become a director.
After I said these things,the brilliant light vanished. I no longer felt uneasy, I immediately felt peace, and when the bell rang for the beginning of the service, I went to church and
followed the entire service."
Monk Chrysanthos [notes monk Lazaros] was very guileless, and for twenty-five years he had
chanted in the right choir with much zeal and reverence.
This is why he received divine mercy and
special intervention from the Honorable Forerunner.
from the book
Narrations from Dionysiou Monastery
Όντως μέγα είναι, στην αλήθεια, το μυστήριο της υπακοής! Αφού ο γλυκύς μας Ιησούς πρώτος χάραξε το δρόμο και έγινε παράδειγμα για μας, πόσο μάλλον εμείς είμαστε οφειλέτες να Τον μιμηθούμε.
Γέροντας Ιωσήφ ο Ησυχαστής
Να έχεις πίστη δυνατή. Ό Κύριος είναι εδώ, δεν είναι στον Ουρανό. Ή πίστη δίνει σταθερότητα στη ζωή του ανθρώπου. Ό Κύριος μας σώζει καθημερινά, μας βοήθα. Ή ολιγοπιστία είναι αμαρτία.
Γέροντας Αμβρόσιος
A man in this world must solve a problem, to be with Christ, or to be against Him. Every man decides this, whether he wants to or not. He will either be a lover of Christ or a fighter of Christ. There is no third option.
St. Justin Popovich
The devil is afraid of us when we pray and make sacrifices. He is also afraid when we are humble and good. He is especially afraid when we love Jesus very much. He runs away when we make the Sign of the Cross.
St. Anthony the Great
"Όταν δίδεις ελεημοσύνη, να μη εξετάζεις τι είναι το πρόσωπο πού του δίδεις, και είναι καλό ή κακό. Ή ελεημοσύνη είναι σπουδαίο πράγμα, εξαλείφει πλήθος αμαρτιών.
Γέροντας Ιερώνυμος της Αιγίνης
Η πραγματική, η γνήσια χαρά βρίσκεται κοντά στον Χριστό. 'Αν συνδεθής μαζί Του με την προσευχή, θα δης πληρωμένη την ψυχή σου. Οι κοσμικοί την χαρά την ζητούν στις απολαύσεις. Μερικοί πάλι πνευματικοί άνθρωποι την ζητούν σε θεολογικές συζητήσεις, ομιλίες κ.λ.π. Και όταν τελειώνουν αυτά, μένουν με ένα κενό και αναρωτιούνται τι θα κάνουν στην συνέχεια.
Γέροντας Παΐσιος
"The ancient fathers did not trust their thoughts at all, but even in the smallest things, when they had to give an answer, they addressed the matter in their prayer, joining to it fasting, in order in some way to ‘force’ Divine Grace to inform them what was the right answer according to God. And when they received the ‘information,’ they gave the answer.
"Today I observe that even with great matters, when someone asks, before he has even had the time to complete his question, we interrupt him and answer him. This shows that not only do we not seek enlightenment from the Grace of God, but we do not even judge with the reason God gave us. On the contrary, whatever our thoughts suggest to us, immediately, without hesitation, we trust it and consent to it, often with disastrous results.
"Almost all of us view thoughts as being something simple and natural, and that is why we naively trust them. However, we should neither trust them nor accept them.
Elder Paisios
Φεβρουάριος του 1988.
Στις Καρυές κάνει αρκετό κρύο. Έχει σημαντικό υψόμετρο. έχει και υγρασία που δυσκολεύει τα πράγματα. Σήμερα όμως είναι ξερός ο καιρός. Έχει κι ένα αεράκι που αν είσαι καλά ντυμένος το απολαμβάνεις. Είναι απόγευμα. Μόλις έπεσε ο ήλιος πίσω από το βουνό.
Προχωρούμε στο μονοπάτι μαζί με τον π. Παΐσιο. Στον δρόμο συναντούμε τον π. Καλλίνικο από τη Σκήτη του Κουτλουμουσίου. Φθάνουμε στο ξύλινο γεφυράκι του. Γύρω μας φουντουκιές γυμνές χωρίς φύλλα. Μόνο κλαδιά.
«Μπα, ποιός έφερε μανταρίνια;», ρωτά έκπληκτος ο π. Παΐσιος.
Στο βάθος, σε απόσταση μεγαλύτερη από εξήντα μέτρα, διακρίνεται η πόρτα της αυλής του και κάτι που ροδίζει στη βάση της, ίσως να 'ναι χρώματος πορτοκαλί. Η απόσταση δεν αφήνει περιθώρια για περισσότερες λεπτομέρειες.
Σε λίγη ώρα πλησιάζουμε. Πράγματι, βλέπουμε μια μεγάλη σακούλα διαφανή, πορτοκαλί χρώματος, γεμάτη μανταρίνια. Πού τα είδε ο άνθρωπος! Πώς διέκρινε ότι είναι μανταρίνια και όχι πορτοκάλια! Αφού δε και η σακούλα είναι πορτοκαλί, θα μπορούσε να περιείχε και μήλα.
«Πως μ' αρέσουν τα μανταρίνια!», λέει με εμφανώς προσποιητή λαιμαργία, ο γέροντας. «Θα κρατήσω για τον εαυτό μου τρία. Καλύτερα, ας τα κάνω πέντε. Μια που βρήκα την ευκαιρία, θα πάρω επτά», λέει με ένα πολύ χαριτωμένο χαμόγελο και σταματά. «Πάρε τα υπόλοιπα, π. Καλλίνικε, και πήγαινε τα απέναντι στον γερο-Ιωσήφ».
Ο γερο-Ιωσήφ ήταν ένα γεροντάκι στην Κουτλουμουσιανή Σκήτη, 103 ετών, που όμως καθημερινά καλλιεργούσε τον κήπο του.
Ο π. Καλλίνικος έβαλε σχήμα, ζήτησε ευλογία και έφυγε. Εμείς με τον π. Παΐσιο μπήκαμε στο καλυβάκι του. Καθίσαμε στο ένα κελλί και μου ζήτησε να του διαβάσω κάτι χειρόγραφα κείμενά του.
Πέρασαν περίπου είκοσι λεπτά και χτυπάει το σίδερο της αυλόπορτας. Κάποιοι ήλθαν για να τον συναντήσουν.
« Να ανοίξω, γέροντα;», ρωτώ.
«Άσε καλύτερα. Αν είναι περίεργοι θα φύγουν. Αν είναι πονεμένοι ή διψασμένοι θα επιμείνουν».
Συνεχίζουμε την ανάγνωση. Σε λίγα λεπτά ξαναχτυπάει το σίδερο.
«Τί κάνουμε τώρα, γέροντα;». ξαναρωτώ.
Στο παράθυρο του, αντί κουρτίνας κρεμόταν ένα κομμάτι από σεντόνι.
«Κοίτα λοξά, να μην σε δουν και δες πόσοι είναι», μου λέγει.
«Δεν μπορώ να τους μετρήσω, δεν φαίνονται», απαντώ.
«Καλά, δεν ξέρεις ούτε αριθμητική; Τί έκανες τόσα χρόνια στην Αμερική; Ας περιμένουμε, αυτοί θα ξαναχτυπήσουν».
Πράγματι, σε λίγα λεπτά, χτυπούν για τρίτη φορά.
«Τώρα θα προσπαθήσω εγώ να τους μετρήσω. Μπορεί να μην τελείωσα το Δημοτικό, αλλά θα τα καταφέρω», μου λέγει.
Σηκώνεται και ανοίγει την πόρτα της καλύβας.
«Τί πάθατε. παλικάρια, τέτοια ώρα; Τί ήλθατε να κάνετε;».
«Πάτερ, θέλουμε λίγο να σας δούμε. Γίνεται;».
«Να με δείτε γίνεται. Αλλά τί θα βρούμε να σας κεράσουμε. Πόσοι είστε; Για να σας μετρήσω ένας, δύο. επτά. Για να δω τί θα βρούμε στο μαγαζί, τέτοια ώρα».
Μπαίνει μέσα και επιστρέφει με τα επτά μανταρίνια.
Τί φοβερός άνθρωπος, σκέπτομαι έκπληκτος από μέσα. Πού το ήξερε και κράτησε τα μανταρίνια ! Το προγνώριζε; Τον φώτισε ο Θεός χωρίς αυτός να το συνειδητοποιεί;
«Από πού έρχεσθε, παλικάρια;», ρωτάει με ενδιαφέρον.
«Είμαστε από την Αθήνα. Και ο Βruce με τον John από την Αμερική».
«Από την Αμερική; Μα αν τους κεράσουμε ένα μανταρίνι, αυτοί θα μας ρεζιλέψουν σε όλο τον κόσμο. Για να βρούμε κάτι Αμερικάνικο στο. supermarket».
Ξαναμπαίνει μέσα και επιστρέφει με ένα πακέτο αμερικάνικα μπισκότα και ένα κουτί ξηρούς καρπούς διαφόρων ειδών Ρlanters, της πιο φημισμένης δηλαδή μάρκας στην Αμερική. Έκπληκτοι αυτοί εκφράζουν τον θαυμασμό και τον εντυπωσιασμό τους.
«Πάτερ, τί συμβολίζει το τάλαντο που χτυπούν στα μοναστήρια;», ρωτάει δειλά ο ένας.
«Δεν ξέρω τί συμβολίζει. Ούτε και έχει καμιά σημασία. Αυτό που έχει άξια δεν είναι να χτυπάει κάνεις το τάλαντο του μοναστηρίου, αλλά να πολλαπλασιάζει το τάλαντο του Θεού. Ακούστε, παιδιά! Επειδή η ώρα πέρασε, πρέπει να πηγαίνετε. Ένα μόνο να πω: το πρόβλημα με τους Αμερικάνους είναι ότι στα Αγγλικά το "εγώ" γράφεται πάντοτε με κεφαλαίο, ενώ εμείς στην Ελλάδα το γράφουμε πότε-πότε και με μικρό».
Γέλασαν με τη χαριτωμένη παρατήρηση και ρωτούν οι Αμερικάνοι:
«Αυτό τί σημαίνει; Εμείς τί πρέπει να κάνουμε ;».
«Να διαγράψετε το "εγώ" από το λεξιλόγιο σας, παιδιά. Ο εγωισμός είναι ο μεγάλος μας εχθρός. Αυτόν πρέπει να πολεμήσουμε όλοι ανεξαιρέτως»
Η αγιότητα έχει μια ευγένεια, μια λεπτότητα, μια χάρη πάνω της. Δεν είπε σοφίες ούτε θεολογίες ούτε έκανε εντυπωσιακές αποκαλύψεις. Γέμισε όμως όλων την καρδιά. Προνόησε διακριτικά, κάλυψε το χάρισμά του, ευγενικά κέρασε τους επισκέπτες του, όμορφα πρωτοτύπησε με τον τρόπο του, οικοδόμησε με τον λόγο του,
ανέπαυσε με την παρουσία του. Χωρίς να προσπαθεί να πείσει για κάτι κανέναν, πείθει για τα πιο μεγάλα όλους. Δίπλα του φωτίζεσαι, χαίρεσαι, αναπαύεσαι. Αισθάνεσαι σαν τη Μαρία «παρά τους πόδας του Ιησού». Σαν τους αποστόλους στο όρος της θείας Μεταμορφώσεως - δεν θέλεις να ξεκολλήσεις με τίποτα.
πηγή: Νικολάου Μητροπολίτου Μεσογαίας και Λαυρεωτικής
Είναι οι λάθος τρόποι που μας επισημαίνουν πέντε ειδικοί, ώστε να τους αποφύγουμε!
1. Απειλείτε το παιδί ότι θα το εγκαταλείψετε
Έχει συμβεί σε όλους μας. Φτάνει η ώρα να φύγετε από το πάρκο και τα παιδιά τρέχουν, κρύβονται, και γενικά αρνούνται να φύγουν. Η τακτική αυτή του εκβιασμού, λέει ο δόκτωρ L. Alan Sroufe, καθηγητής ψυχολογίας στο University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development, μας φαίνεται κάποιες φορές πολύ «δελεαστική» για να συμμορφωθούν αλλά θυμηθείτε ότι η απειλή της εγκατάλειψης είναι εξαιρετικά επιζήμια για τα παιδιά. Η αίσθηση του δεσίματος με τους γονείς, είναι ένα από τα πιο σημαντικά πράγματα στην ανάπτυξη του παιδιού, ιδιαίτερα στα πρώτα χρόνια. Η απειλή εγκατάλειψης, ακόμα και με φαινομενικά ανάλαφρο τρόπο, μπορεί να ταρακουνήσει τα θεμέλια της ασφάλειας που αντιπροσωπεύετε στα μάτια του. Έτσι, την επόμενη φορά προσπαθήσετε με απλά λόγια να του εξηγήσετε πως έχει η κατάσταση. Αν ήρθε η ώρα να φύγετε από το πάρκο, προετοιμάστε το πρώτα, δεδομένου ότι οι απότομες αλλαγές είναι δύσκολες για τα παιδιά. Στη συνέχεια υπενθυμίστε το κάθε λεπτό που περνάει, έτσι ώστε να προετοιμαστεί ψυχολογικά.
2. Τους λέτε ψέματα
Ένας απλός, αλλά εξαιρετικά σημαντικό κανόνας στην ανατροφή των παιδιών είναι: Μην λέτε στα παιδιά ποτέ ψέματα, ακόμη κι αν πιστεύετε ότι κάποια ψέματα προστατεύουν τον συναισθηματικό τους κόσμο, λέει ο δόκτωρ Alan Sroufe. Ακόμη κι όταν δεν είμαστε σίγουροι, πώς να χειριστούμε κάποιες δύσκολες καταστάσεις, είναι πολύ σημαντικό, να λέμε την αλήθεια. Αρκεί η εξήγηση που θα δώσουμε να είναι κατάλληλη για την ηλικία του παιδιού. Ένα πολύ μικρό παιδί δεν έχει ανάγκη από μια λεπτομερή εξήγηση του θανάτου. Λέγοντάς του ότι ήταν πολύ ηλικιωμένο το ζώο, και οι γιατροί δεν μπορούσαν να το κάνουν καλά, μπορεί να είναι αρκετό για το παιδί. Την επόμενη λοιπόν φορά που θα σκεφτείτε να του πείτε ένα μικρό ψέμα, προτιμήστε να πείτε την αλήθεια και παράλληλα όμως βοηθήστε το να τα βγάλει πέρα με «την πάλη των συναισθημάτων του». Μακροπρόθεσμα θα είναι πολύ καλύτερα για την ψυχική υγεία του.
3. Αγνοείτε τη δική σας άσχημη συμπεριφορά
Να θυμάστε ότι τα παιδιά μαθαίνουν με βάση αυτά που βιώνουν, λέει ο David Elkind, ειδικός αναπτυξιολόγος στο Tufts University. Απορροφούν σαν σφουγγάρια τα πάντα γύρω τους, και είναι εξαιρετικά ικανά να μαθαίνουν και να αντικατοπτρίζουν τις καλές και κακές συμπεριφορές, ακόμα και από τότε που είναι πολύ μικρά. Αντανακλώντας στον εαυτό μας, την συμπεριφορά που περιμένουμε από τα παιδιά μας, είναι ένα από τα καλύτερα πράγματα που μπορούμε να κάνουμε ως γονείς. Θυμηθείτε ότι αυτά που κάνετε, επηρεάζουν πολύ περισσότερο το παιδί, σε σχέση με αυτά που λέτε. Έτσι για παράδειγμα, εάν θέλετε το παιδί σας να σέβεται τον άλλον και να είναι ευγενικό, να δείχνετε και εσείς ανάλογη συμπεριφορά, ακόμα και όταν είστε θυμωμένοι ή διαφωνείτε με κάποιον.
4. Υποθέτετε ότι αυτό που «δούλεψε» στο πρώτο σας παιδί, θα λειτουργήσει και στο δεύτερο Ένα από τα μεγαλύτερα προβλήματα με τις συμβουλές ανατροφής, είναι ότι η ίδια μέθοδος δεν ταιριάζει σε όλους, λέει χαρακτηριστικά ο Dr. Elkind. Υπάρχει μάλιστα μια χαρακτηριστική παροιμία που λέει ότι «το ίδιο βραστό νερό που σκληραίνει το αυγό, μαλακώνει το καρότο». Η ίδια συμπεριφορά, μπορεί να έχει διαφορετικά αποτελέσματα ανάλογα με την προσωπικότητα του κάθε παιδιού. Γι’ αυτό και είναι πολύ σημαντικό να θυμόμαστε ότι αυτό που λειτούργησε καλά για ένα παιδί, δεν σημαίνει ότι απαραίτητα θα λειτουργήσει το ίδιο και για τα άλλα.
5. Πανικοβάλλεστε όταν το παιδί δεν τηρεί κάποιον κανόνα
Οι περισσότεροι γονείς έχουν διαμορφωμένες απόψεις για τα πράγματα που είναι για το καλό των παιδιών τους, μας λέει ο George Scarlett, παιδοψυχίατρος στο Eliot-Pearson Department of Child Development του Tufts University. Έτσι, όταν το παιδί κάνει κάτι που το θεωρούν κακό, στεναχωριούνται και εκνευρίζονται πολύ. Όμως μια «κακή» δραστηριότητα που γίνεται αραιά (όπως η ενασχόληση με βιντεοπαχνίδια) , δεν θα είναι πολύ επιζήμια για την ανάπτυξη του παιδιού σας, εάν το υπόλοιπο 99 % των δραστηριοτήτων του είναι ευθυγραμμισμένες με τις πεποιθήσεις σας. Να θυμάστε ότι αν ένα παιδί μεγαλώνει με αγάπη, σε ένα καλό οικογενειακό περιβάλλον, τότε οι «κακές» δραστηριότητες δεν θα έχουν αρνητικό αντίκτυπο στην ανάπτυξη του.
6. Τιμωρείτε το παιδί επειδή συμπεριφέρεται ανώριμα
Εννοείται πως ακόμη κι όταν τα παιδιά γίνονται νήπια μπορεί να εκφράσουν το θυμό τους χτυπώντας ένα παιδάκι, ή πετώντας πράγματα. Αυτή είναι μια απόλυτα φυσιολογική συμπεριφορά για ένα παιδί, μας λέει ο δόκτωρ Tovah Klein, διευθυντής στο τμήμα ανάπτυξης Barnard Toddler Center του Columbia University. Ιδιαίτερα όταν το παιδί αυτό δεν έχει ωριμάσει συναισθηματικά .Αντί λοιπόν να τιμωρείτε τις συναισθηματικές εξάρσεις του, βοηθήστε το να καταλάβει τους λόγους που κάνει ότι κάνει και εξηγήστε του, ότι υπάρχουν καλύτεροι τρόποι να εκφράζει τα συναισθήματα του.
7. Είστε περισσότερο φίλοι με τα παιδιά, παρά γονείς!
Αυτό είναι ένα συχνό λάθος που κάνουν οι γονείς, ιδίως όσο μεγαλώνουν τα παιδιά τους λέει η παιδίατρος Sue Hubbard. Όλοι οι γονείς θέλουν τα παιδιά τους να τους επιζητούν και να τους αγαπάνε , οπότε είναι εύκολο να διολισθήσουν στο ρόλο του φίλου, παρά στο ρόλο του γονέα. Είναι όμως πολύ σημαντικό να παραμείνουν γονείς και να βρουν τη σωστή ισορροπία στη σχέση τους με το παιδί.
8. Πιστεύετε ότι είστε απόλυτα υπεύθυνοι (ή καθόλου υπεύθυνοι) για τη ανάπτυξη του παιδιού σας
Όλοι έχουμε επίγνωση της σημασίας που έχει η ανατροφή που δίνουμε στα παιδιά.Όμως μερικές φορές δίνουμε μυθικές διαστάσεις στο πόσο μπορούμε να επηρεάσουμε την πορεία ενός παιδιού, λέει ο Hans Steiner, υπεύθυνος του ψυχιατρικού τμήματος στο Stanford University. Το να γίνετε ένας γονιός γεμάτος άγχος και ενοχές είναι ένας σίγουρος τρόπος για να χαλάσετε τα παιδιά σας. Υπάρχουν πολλοί άλλοι παράγοντες εκτός από εσάς που επηρεάζουν την προσωπικότητα και την ανάπτυξή των παιδιών: τα γονίδια, άλλα μέλη της οικογένειας, το σχολείο, οι φίλοι. Έτσι, αν κάτι πάει στραβά, μην το πάρετε προσωπικά , δεδομένου ότι δεν είναι καθόλου βέβαιο ότι φταίτε εσείς. Από την άλλη όμως, μην θεωρήσετε ότι δεν έχετε κανένα ρόλο στην ανάπτυξη του παιδιού σας. Μερικοί άνθρωποι το βλέπουν ανάποδα, ότι οι επιτυχίες και τα προβλήματα των παιδιών οφείλονται κυρίως στα γονίδια ή στους δάσκαλους στο σχολείο, και όχι στους ίδιους. Και οι δύο ακραίες απόψεις, είναι λάθος. Η ανατροφή που θα του δώσετε είναι σημαντική στη ζωή του παιδιού, αλλά δεν είστε ο μόνος παράγοντας που θα καθορίσει την πορεία του.
Πηγή: imommy.gr
The Elder said that God gave us a soul, but our body is inherited from our parents and grand parents, that is why together with our body we receive part of their sins. They are waiting for our prayers and feel great joy when we pray for them, and those who are in the Heavenly Kingdom help us.
St. Seraphim of Vyrytsa
