However, this is still not change. It is only the
opportunity for change and the call for it. Grace is only telling the
sinner at this point, "See what you have gotten into; look then, take
measures for salvation." It merely removes him from his customary bonds
and sets him beyond them, thereby giving him the opportunity to choose a
completely new life and find his place in it. If he takes advantage of
this, it is to his benefit; if he does not, he will be cast again into
the very same sleep and the very same abyss of destruction.
This divine grace is achieved by exposing to the
consciousness and feeling the insignificance and shame of that to which a
person is devoted and values so highly. Just as the word of God pierces
even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow
(Heb. 4:12), so does grace pierce to the division of the heart and sin,
and breaks down their unlawful alliance and relationship. We saw how
the sinner with his entire being falls into a realm where there are
principles, ideas, opinions, rules, customs, pleasures and ways that are
completely incompatible with the true spiritual life for which man is
intended.
Once he has fallen into this place, he is not there
in isolation or detachment. Instead, he is permeated by everything,
mingles with everything. He is completely immersed in it. Thus, it is
only natural that he not knows or thinks about its incompatibility with
spiritual life, and he has no kind of sympathy toward spiritual life.
The spiritual realm is completely closed off to him. It is obvious from
this that the door to conversion may be opened only under the condition
that the spiritual way of life be revealed to the sinner's consciousness
in its full light, and not merely revealed, but that it touch the
heart; that the sinful way of life be discredited, rejected, and
destroyed. This also takes place in the presence of consciousness and
feeling. Only then can the care arise to abandon the old ways and begin
the new. All this is accomplished in the single act of the sinner's
arousal by grace.
In its course of action, the arousing divine grace
is always connected not only with the bonds in which the sinner is held,
but also with the overall condition of the sinner. In this latter
regard, one must above all keep in mind the difference in the way the
action of grace appears when it acts on those who have never been
aroused, and when it acts on those who have previously experienced such
arousal. For someone who has never experienced spiritual awakening
before, it is given to him freely, like some all-encompassing,
preliminary or summoning grace. Nothing is required from the person
beforehand, because he has a completely different orientation.
However, grace is not freely given to the person who
has already experienced spiritual arousal, who knows and senses what
life in Christ is, and who has fallen into sin again. He must give
something himself first. He must still be worthy and beseech. It is not
enough merely to wish; he must work on himself in order to attract
spiritual arousal by grace. Such a person, in recollecting his previous
sojourn in the virtuous Christian way, often desires it again, but has
no power over himself. He would like to turn over a new leaf, but is
unable to gain self-mastery and conquer himself. He has abandoned
himself to helpless despair because he previously abandoned the gift and
reproached and trodden underfoot the Son of God...and hath done despite unto the Spirit of Grace (Heb.
10:29). Now he is allowed to perceive that this power of grace is so
great that it will not be granted immediately. Seek and labor, and learn
to appreciate how difficult it is to acquire.
Such a person is in a somewhat agonizing condition:
He thirsts but is not given drink, hungers but is not fed, seeks but
does not find, exerts himself but does not receive. Sometimes a person
is left in this condition for a very long time, to the point where he
feels divine reproach, as if God has forgotten him, turned away and
betrayed His promise. He feels like the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it...but...which beareth thorns and briers
(Heb. 6:7-8). But this slow touching of grace to the heart of the
seeker is only a trial. He goes through the period of trial, and thanks
to his labors and agonizing search, the spirit of arousal once again
descends on him as it descends on others as a gift. This course of
action of salvific grace shows us two things: First, the special actions
of divine grace in arousing the sinner; second, the usual way of
acquiring the gift of arousing grace.
An Excerpt from The Book "The Path to Salvation"A Manual of Spiritual Transformation. By St. Theophan The Recluse .
