The awakening of the sinner is that act of divine grace in
his heart, the consequence of which he, as one awakened from sleep, sees his
sinfulness, senses the danger of his situation, begins to fear for
himself and to care about deliverance from his misfortune and salvation.
Previously, he was like a blind man, unfeeling and uncaring with regard to
salvation; now he sees, senses and cares.
However, this is still not change. It is only the opportunity
for change and the call for it. Grace is only telling the sinner at this point,
"See what you have gotten into; look then, take measures for salvation." It
merely removes him from his customary bonds and sets him beyond them, thereby
giving him the opportunity to choose a completely new life and find his place in
it. If he takes advantage of this, it is to his benefit; if he does not, he will
be cast again into the very same sleep and the very same abyss of
destruction.
This divine grace is achieved by exposing to the
consciousness and feeling the insignificance and shame of that to which a person
is devoted and values so highly. Just as the word of God pierces even to the
dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow (Heb.
4:12), so does grace pierce to the division of the heart and sin, and breaks
down their unlawful alliance and relationship. We saw how the sinner with his
entire being falls into a realm where there are principles, ideas, opinions,
rules, customs, pleasures and ways that are completely incompatible with the
true spiritual life for which man is intended.
Once he has fallen into this place, he is not there in
isolation or detachment. Instead, he is permeated by everything, mingles with
everything. He is completely immersed in it. Thus, it is only natural that he
not knows or thinks about its incompatibility with spiritual life, and he has no
kind of sympathy toward spiritual life. The spiritual realm is completely closed
off to him. It is obvious from this that the door to conversion may be opened
only under the condition that the spiritual way of life be revealed to the
sinner's consciousness in its full light, and not merely revealed, but that it
touch the heart; that the sinful way of life be discredited, rejected, and
destroyed. This also takes place in the presence of consciousness and feeling.
Only then can the care arise to abandon the old ways and begin the new. All this
is accomplished in the single act of the sinner's arousal by grace.
In its course of action, the arousing divine grace is always
connected not only with the bonds in which the sinner is held, but also with the
overall condition of the sinner. In this latter regard, one must above all keep
in mind the difference in the way the action of grace appears when it acts on
those who have never been aroused, and when it acts on those who have previously
experienced such arousal. For someone who has never experienced spiritual
awakening before, it is given to him freely, like some all-encompassing,
preliminary or summoning grace. Nothing is required from the person beforehand,
because he has a completely different orientation.
However, grace is not freely given to the person who has
already experienced spiritual arousal, who knows and senses what life in Christ
is, and who has fallen into sin again. He must give something himself first. He
must still be worthy and beseech. It is not enough merely to wish; he must work
on himself in order to attract spiritual arousal by grace. Such a person, in
recollecting his previous sojourn in the virtuous Christian way, often desires
it again, but has no power over himself. He would like to turn over a new leaf,
but is unable to gain self-mastery and conquer himself. He has abandoned himself
to helpless despair because he previously abandoned the gift and reproached and
trodden underfoot the Son of God...and hath done despite unto the Spirit of
Grace (Heb. 10:29). Now he is allowed to perceive that this power of grace
is so great that it will not be granted immediately. Seek and labor, and learn
to appreciate how difficult it is to acquire.
Such a person is in a somewhat agonizing condition: He
thirsts but is not given drink, hungers but is not fed, seeks but does not find,
exerts himself but does not receive. Sometimes a person is left in this
condition for a very long time, to the point where he feels divine reproach, as
if God has forgotten him, turned away and betrayed His promise. He feels like
the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it...but...which
beareth thorns and briers (Heb. 6:7-8). But this slow touching of grace to
the heart of the seeker is only a trial. He goes through the period of trial,
and thanks to his labors and agonizing search, the spirit of arousal once again
descends on him as it descends on others as a gift. This course of action of
salvific grace shows us two things: First, the special actions of divine grace
in arousing the sinner; second, the usual way of acquiring the gift of arousing
grace.
An Excerpt from The
Book "The Path to Salvation"A Manual of Spiritual Transformation. By St.
Theophan The Recluse .
