Sin, to one who loves God, is nothing other than an arrow from the enemy in battle. ( Saint Herman of Alaska )

Sin, to one who loves God, is nothing other than an arrow from the enemy in battle. 

The true Christian is a warrior fighting his way through the regiments of the unseen enemy to his heavenly homeland. 

According to the word of the Apostle, our homeland is in heaven; and about the warrior he says: we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Eph.6: 12)].


Saint Herman of Alaska

The source of all sins - Pride ( St. Justin Popovic )

The sin, which synthesizes all the sins of the world is: “the pride of life.” That is the first sin in all the worlds: the sin of Satan. The source of all sins, which always was and will forever stay as such. It can be said: pride is the ultimate sin. Every sin, through its life force, comes from it and holds to it: “the pride of life”–woven from countless multifarious prides, both great and small, both short-term and long term. Let us remember the primary things: the pride of glory (scientific, government, in any rank or position in general), pride of beauty, pride of wealth, pride of benevolence, pride of humility (yes! of humility), pride of charity, pride of success…There is not a virtue that pride cannot convert into a vice. The pride of prayer converts the person praying into a Pharisee, and the ascetic into a self-murderer. So, every sin, in reality is a sin through pride, because Satan in in reality Satan through pride. If it were not for pride, sin would not exist, neither in the angelic or the human world. All this “is not of the Father.” That which is of the Father is the Only Begotten Son of God. He is incarnate and personified humility before all of His divine perfections. In His Gospel, the beginning virtue, the ultimate virtue is humility (Matt. 5:3). Humility is the only medicine for pride and all other sins.

St. Justin Popovic

St. Porphyrios: I am a great sinner...

Possibly more than the great wonders of his life, it is perhaps the obedience, humility and love of St. Porphyrios towards God and his fellow men that most clearly identify him as one of the great Saints of our days. If the Saint called himself a sinner (using Christ as his criterion for perfection) woe to us all, who love to constantly roll in the mire of sin! May we have his blessing!

"I am not a wizard, I am not a prophet. I don't say that I saw the Panagia, or that there will be a war. I am a great sinner, and I humbly pray to Christ, that He have mercy on me."
 
St. Porphyrios of Kavsokalyvia

source

Evil grows within us and does not decrease ( St. John of Kronstadt )

Every man on earth is sick with the fever of sin, with the blindness of sin and is overcome with its fury. As sins consist mostly of malice and pride, it is necessary to treat everyone who suffers from the malady of sin with kindness and love. This is an important truth, which we often forget. Very often we act in the opposite manner: we add malice to malice by our anger, we oppose pride with pride. Thus, evil grows within us and does not decrease; it is not cured – rather it spreads.
 
 St. John of Kronstadt

Every sin, in reality is a sin through pride ( St. Justin Popovic )

The third sin, which synthesizes all the sins of the world is: “the pride of life.” That is the first sin in all the worlds: the sin of Satan. The source of all sins, which always was and will forever stay as such. It can be said: pride is the ultimate sin. Every sin, through its life force, comes from it and holds to it: “the pride of life”–woven from countless multifarious prides, both great and small, both short-term and long term. 

Let us remember the primary things: the pride of glory (scientific, government, in any rank or position in general), pride of beauty, pride of wealth, pride of benevolence, pride of humility (yes! of humility), pride of charity, pride of success…There is not a virtue that pride cannot convert into a vice. The pride of prayer converts the person praying into a Pharisee, and the ascetic into a self-murderer. 

So, every sin, in reality is a sin through pride, because Satan in in reality Satan through pride. If it were not for pride, sin would not exist, neither in the angelic or the human world. All this “is not of the Father.” That which is of the Father is the Only Begotten Son of God. He is incarnate and personified humility before all of His divine perfections. In His Gospel, the beginning virtue, the ultimate virtue is humility (Matt. 5:3). Humility is the only medicine for pride and all other sins.

Self justification is a large sin ( Elder Ambrose of Optina )

When you are being plagued, never ask what for and why. You will never find that in the Scripture. Instead, it says: "If somebody strikes you on your right cheek, turn the other one to him. It is really difficult to strike one on the right cheek and should be understood as: if somebody starts to denigrate you or provoke you unjustifiably, that will mean hitting you on your right cheek. 

Do not grumble but bear this blow patiently, and turn your left cheek, that is, remembering your past faulty deeds. If in this time you are innocent, then you have sinned greatly in the past; with this you will be convinced that you deserve punishment. Self justification is a large sin."

Elder Ambrose of Optina

The Tactics of the Devil – Either Belittling or Increasing the Severity of a Sin ( Saint Barsanuphius of Optina )

Do you know the Devil's tactics? You really need to know it. When the Devil knows that some man has a sin more or less serious, he tries to prevent him from repentance. To this end, he belittles the severity of the sin in any way, suggesting the following thoughts: "It does not matter, God will forgive this to you" - and so on. And the demon even tries to make a man forget about this sin. But when this man manages to confess the sin to his spiritual father in the confession, the Devil in every way increases the severity of sin, suggesting that this sin is so great that God will never forgive it. And he tries to bring a person into depression and despair. You see how cunning the enemy is. He knows that the sins are washed away in the confession, and therefore he does not admit people to confession, and if a man confesses, the enemy embarrasses him in every way.

Saint Barsanuphius of Optina

http://tokandylaki.blogspot.ca/2012/11/the-tactics-of-devil.html

Liberate ourselves from sin ( St. Anthony the Great )

Through His goodness, God the Father did not spare His Only Son but surrendered Him to deliver us from our sins and iniquities. Because of us, the Son of God humbled Himself, cured us of our spiritual ills and arranged for our salvation from sin. That is why it is essential that we recognize this and constantly bear in mind God’s magnificent arrangement — that because of us, God the Word became like us in all respects except in sin. It is worthwhile for everyone to remember this and genuinely endeavor in reality, with God’s help, to liberate ourselves from sin.



St. Anthony the Great

Do not envy sinful people ( part 2 ) - Salvation of Sinners

Animals, such as cows, that are raised in order to be slaughtered and butchered are allowed to graze and eat freely, and they are fed to be fattened. Conversely, animals that will be used for work or provide some service to man are trained, disciplined, and kept an a strict diet. This is what God does as well. He allows malicious people in this present life to grow fat as they indulge in carnal pleasures and sinful enjoyments because
such unfortunate people will finally end up in eternal Hell.
 

On the contrary, He tests and disciplines virtuous and righteous people in order to keep them in His heavenly mansion forever. Fruit-bearing trees that yield a crop and produce a bountiful harvest are pruned, they are sprayed with pesticides, and have
heavy weights attached to the end of their branches, which bend and pull the branches
downward. All these harsh measures, however,
are conducive to the tree bringing forth fruit.
 
Conversely, trees that do not produce fruit and are of no value to man are neither pruned nor clipped like fruit-bearing trees. However, once such trees grow and reach maturity, they are cut down,
completely uprooted from the ground, and subsequently used as firewood. This is what happens with man in this world as well. Virtuous people who produce useful and good works receive sorrows and lashes, whereas the
Righteous Judge does not punish evil and sinful people here because He is waiting to consume them eventually in the fire of Hell.
 

The prosperity and good fortune of ungodly people is actually a severe misfortune! For when such people observe nothing bad happening to them and that they are not punished in any way, they shamelessly and impudently proceed to carry out even greater sins and worse crimes.
 

Furthermore, when such a person remains
undisciplined, it is a sign that he will be punished and condemned, because the enemy does not disturb or assault his own friends. Thus it is apparent, just as we have illustrated above, that the more God loves someone, the more He allows one
temporarily, and for the time being, to experience discipline that is beneficial and ultimately life
-saving for the soul. 

from  The Salvation of Sinners

Do not envy sinful people ( Part 1 ) - Salvation of Sinners

“Do not be envious of those who do evil, nor be jealous of those who work lawlessness; for like grass they shall be dried up quickly”(Ps. 36:1-2),
states the prophet David.
 
Much injustice and many crimes take place in the world today. And it appears as though they who commit sinful deeds actually enjoy prosperity
and happiness, whereas virtuous and God-fearing people suffer and endure hardships.
 
However, do not be surprised, dear reader!
You should neither desire to live sinfully nor choose the ways of the wicked. Do not think that such people are fortunate, even though it appears as if society favors them, and that they are enjoying temporary wealth and success.
 
The prophet Habakkuk wondered about this
very matter: “How long, O Lord, shall I cry out to You, and You will not hear me? ...
Why do You keep silence when the ungodly swallow up the just?” (Hab. 1:2-13). The prophet Jeremiah and others also asked, “Why, O Lord, do
the wicked have such prosperity and good fortune in their lives?Why do bad people receive so many blessings?”
 

The holy prophets spoke in this manner not because they were unaware that God’s decisions are indeed just and righteous,but rather to reveal to us how much difference there is between God’s 
wisdom and human logic. Man usually does not comprehend God’s judicious and forbearing
providence.
 
God does not dispense sorrows to sinful people here on the earth because He will end up punishing them eternally.
Conversely, He disciplines His friends in order for them to receive greater glory and a more precious
crown in the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Salvation of Sinners

A Clever Way to Help Another Overcome Sin ( Elder Epiphanios Theodoropoulos )

Elder Epiphanios Theodoropoulos

One of [Elder Epiphanios'] spiritual children held a high-ranking administrative position, and when he confessed he would often confess the same sin involving his subordinates over and again. One time during confession the Elder threatened him, saying that if he fell into the same sin again he would receive a very particular penance. “If you fall into this sin again,” the Elder informed the man, “I will make you sit down and allow me to wash your feet.” Unfortunately the spiritual child did fall into the same sin again and Elder Epiphanios made good on his threat. Naturally, this event proved quite a spiritual trial for the spiritual child. After the washing, the Elder said: “Since I know that this makes you uneasy, I will wash your feet every time you fall into that particular sin.” The man never fell into the sin again, though every time his subordinates pushed him to the brink he would shout: “You owe a great deal to the man who washed my feet!” They never knew what he was talking about.

Translated by Rev Dr John Palmer



http://lessonsfromamonastery.wordpress.com/

If it were not for sin there would be no misfortune. ( Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk )

For sin is the cause of each and every misfortune that occurs in this world. If it were not for sin there would be no misfortune. Sin came into being in the world and upon it followed every calamity. Sin is sweet to men, but its fruits are bitter to them. A bitter seed also bears bitter fruit. Beloved Christians! Let us know sin, that we may turn away from it, for everyone avoids a known evil. People know that poison harms, and they avoid it. They know that a serpent kills with its sting, and they keep away from it. They know that thieves strip and kill, and they avoid them.



Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk

Sin is the primary and chief evil ( St. Basil the Great )

Illnesses, droughts, and infertility of the earth, even the most difficult circumstances in the life of each person, all these prevent evil from increasing and spreading. Hence, all these “bad” things that are permitted by God actually remove the cause of the generation of true evil. Both physical ailments and adversities beyond our control have been permitted to distance us from sin. Therefore, God destroys evil; evil does not come from God. Doctors cure diseases; they do not generate diseases within the body.

Sin is the primary and chief evil, and it is indeed worthy of being called an evil. Sin depends on our own free volition. It is up to us to either stay away from sinfulness or to be wicked. All other evils are permitted either to reveal a person’s courage and virtue, as in the case of Job, or to heal and rectify sins that have been committed in the past, such as with the prophet David, or to render more careful and prudent them who easily slide into sin, such as in the case of Dathan and Abiram (Num. 16:27), who served as a lesson and example for others.

Now that you have come to know the various forms of evil that God allows, now that you have understood well that sin is the only true evil, whereas things that seem evil on account of pain are in fact very beneficial and lead to the eternal salvation of the soul, cease being dissatisfied with God’s decisions and divine interventions. In general, never consider God to be the cause of the existence of evil. Do not even imagine that evil is an entity. Evil is not something that exists like some creature, nor can it be viewed as a living substance. Rather, it appears after the soul is crippled.

God created the soul, but not sin. But then, why is the soul generally capable of becoming evil? This is on account of the free will, which is especially befitting to rational beings. “But why don’t we have sinlessness embedded in our nature,” someone may ask, “so that even if we wanted to, we could not sin?” Because you also do not consider your slaves as friends when you hold them captive by force, but when you see them willingly serving you. Similarly, God is not pleased with things that take place out of necessity, but with what takes place on account of virtue. And virtue takes place through man’s free choice—not through force. Free choice depends on us, and we have our free will. Therefore, he who blames the Creator for not making us sinless by nature prefers to have irrational instead of rational souls, and motionless, inert beings instead of ones who can make voluntary decisions and take actions.

Let us therefore stop correcting the Wise God. Let us stop seeking something better than what He has made. If we are unaware of the reasons behind certain things God has planned, let us at least maintain one dogma in our soul with certainty: there is no evil that comes from the Good God.

St. Basil the Great

An active life serves to purify us of sinful passions ( St. Seraphim of Sarov )

An active life serves to purify us of sinful passions and raises us to the level of functioning perfection; at the same time it clears the way to a contemplative life. For only those cleansed of passions and the perfect can set out on that other life, as can be seen from the words of the Holy Scriptures: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Mt. 5:8), and from the words of Gregory the Theologian: "Only those who are perfect by their experience can without danger proceed to contemplation."



St. Seraphim of Sarov

Falling into disease through sin ( ­ Saint Basil the Great. )

By fasting it is possible both to be delivered from future evils and to enjoy the good things to come. We fell into disease through sin; let us receive healing through repentance, which is not fruitful without fasting.


­ Saint Basil the Great.

The root of Sin ( Metropolitan Philaret Voskresensky )

All Orthodox Christians know from the Holy Scripture, and believe, that God created man in His own image and likeness. Therefore, in the creation man received a sinless nature, but not even the first man, Adam, remained sinless. He lost his original purity in the first fall into sin in paradise. The toxin of this sinfulness contaminated the entire human race, which descended from its forbears who had sinned - just as poison water flows from a poisoned spring. Acting upon the inclination to sin inherited from our ancestors, each person commits their own personal sins, as the Scriptural indictment says, "There is no one who will live for a single day and not sin." Only our Lord Jesus Christ is absolutely free from sin. Even the righteous, God's saints, bore sin within themselves and, although with God's help they struggled with it, yet they humbly acknowledged themselves to be sinners. So, without exception, all people are sinners, tainted with sin.

Sin is a spiritual leprosy, an illness and an ulcer which has stricken all mankind, both in his soul and his body. Sin has damaged all three of the basic abilities and powers of the soul; the mind, the heart and the will. Man's mind became darkened and inclined toward error, thus, man constantly errs - in science, in philosophy and in his practical activity.

What is even more harmed by sin is man's heart - the center of his experience of good and evil, as well as feelings of sorrow and joy. We see that our heart has been bound in the mire of sin; it has lost the ability to be pure, spiritual and Christian, to possess truly elevated feelings. Instead of this, it has become inclined toward pleasures of sensuality and earthly attachments. It is tainted with vainglory and often startles one with a complete absence of love and of the desire to do good toward one's neighbor.

What is harmed most of all, however, is the capability of our will to effect our intentions. Man proves to be without strength of will particularly when it is necessary to practice true Christian good - even though he might desire this good. The holy apostle Paul speaks of this weakness of will when he says: "For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds which I do not desire to do are what I am always doing." That is why Christ the Savior said of man the sinner, "Whoever practices sin is the slave of sin," although to the sinner, alas, serving sin often seems to be freedom while struggling to escape its net appears to be slavery.

How does a sin develop in one's soul? The holy fathers, strugglers of Christian asceticism and piety, knowing the sinful human soul, explain it far better than all the learned psychiatrists. They distinguish the following stages in sin: The first moment in sin is the suggestion, when some temptation becomes identified in a person's conscience - a sinful impression, an unclean thought or some other temptation. If, in this first moment, a person decisively and at once rejects the sin, he does not sin, but defeats sin and his soul will experience progress rather than degeneration. It is in the suggestion stage of sin that it is easiest of all to remove it. If the suggestion is not rejected, it passes over first into an ill-defined striving and then into a clear, conscious desire to sin. At this point, one already begins to be inclined to sin of a given type. Even at this point, however, without an especially difficult struggle, one can avoid giving in to sin and refrain from sinning. One will be helped by the clear voice of conscience and by God's aid if one will only turn to it.

Beyond this point, one has fallen into sin. The reproaches of the conscience sound loudly and clearly, eliciting a revulsion to the sin. The former self-assurance disappears and the man is humbled (compare Apostle Peter before and after his denial of Christ). But even at this point, defeat of sin is not entirely difficult. This is shown by numerous examples, as in the lives of Peter, the holy prophet-king David and other repentant sinners.

It is more difficult to struggle with a sin when, through frequent repetition, it becomes a habit in one. After acquiring any kind of habit, the habitual actions are performed by the person very easily, almost unnoticed by himself, spontaneously. Thus, the struggle with sin which has become a habit for a person is very difficult since it is not only difficult to overcome, but is even difficult to detect in its approach and process.

An even more dangerous stage of sin is vice. In this condition, sin so rules a person that it forges his will in chains. Here, one is almost powerless to struggle against it. He is a slave to sin even though he may acknowledge its danger and, in lucid intervals, perhaps even hates it with all his soul (such is the vice of alcoholism, narcotic addiction, etc.). In this condition, one cannot deal with oneself without special mercy and help from God and one is in need of prayer and the spiritual support of others. One must bear in mind that even a seemingly minor sin such as gossiping, love of attire, empty diversions, etc. can become a vice in man if it possesses him entirely and fills his soul.

The lowest stage of sin, in which sin completely enslaves one to itself, is the passion of one or another type. In this condition, man can no longer hate his sin as he can with a vice (and this is the difference between them). Rather he submits to sin in all his experiences, actions and moods, as did Judas Iscariot. At this stage, one literally and directly lets Satan into his heart (as it is said of Judas in the Gospel) and in this condition, nothing will help him except Grace-filled Church prayers and other such actions.

There is yet another special, most terrible and destructive type of sin. This is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit. Even the prayers of the Church cannot help one who is found in this condition. The Apostle John the Theologian speaks of this directly when he entreats us to pray for a brother who has sinned, but points out the uselessness of prayer for the sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

The Lord Jesus Christ Himself says that this sin - the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit - is not forgiven and will not be forgiven either in this age or in the future. He pronounced these terrible words against the Pharisees who, though they clearly saw that he worked everything according to the will of God and by God's power, nevertheless distorted the truth. They perished in their own blasphemy and their example is instructive and urgent for all those who would sin mortal sin: by an obdurate and conscious adversity to the undoubted Truth and thereby blaspheming the Spirit of truth - God's Holy Spirit.

We must note that even blasphemy against the Lord Jesus Christ can be forgiven man (according to His own words) since it can be committed in ignorance or temporary blindness. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit could be forgiven, says St Athanasios the Great, only if a man ceased from it and became repentant. But the very nature of the sin is such that it makes it virtually impossible for a man to return to the truth. One who is blind can regain his sight and love the one who revealed the truth to him and one who is soiled with vices and passions can be cleansed by repentance and become a confessor of the Truth, but who and what can change a blasphemer who has seen and known the Truth and who has stubbornly refused and hated it? This horrible condition is similar to the condition of the devil himself who believes in God and trembles but who nevertheless hates Him, blasphemes Him and is in adversity to Him.

When a seduction, a temptation to sin, appears in man, it usually comes from three sources: from man's own flesh, from the world and from Satan.

Concerning man's flesh, there is absolutely no doubt that in many respects it is a den and source of anti-moral predisposition's, strivings and inclinations. The ancestral sin - this inclination towards sin, a heritage from the sin of our progenitors and our own personal sinful experiences: all this added up and each (experience) strengthening one another, creates in our flesh a source of temptations, sinful moods and acts.

More often, though, the source of seduction for us is the world around us which, according to the Apostle John the Theologian, "is under the power of the Evil-One" and friendship with which, according to another Apostle, is enmity with God. The milieu around us seduces us, the people around us do likewise (especially the willful, conscious seducers and corrupters of youth about whom the Lord said: "Whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble and sin, it were better for that man that a millstone be tied around his neck and he be cast into the sea."

The enticers are also external goods, riches, comforts, immoral dances, dirty literature, shameless attire, etc. - all of this is undoubtedly a fetid source of sin and seduction.

But the main and root source of sin is, of course, the devil, as the Apostle John the Theologian says, "He who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning." In struggling with God and His Truth, the devil struggles with people, striving to destroy each of us. He struggles most intensely and with the most malice with the saints as we see in the Gospel and in the lives of the saints. We, sick and infirm, are specially defended by Christ against those fierce temptations to which God's saints, strong in spirit, are subjected. Nevertheless, Satan does not ignore us, acting through the enticements of the world and the flesh, making them stronger and more deceptive, and also tempting us by sinful suggestions of all kinds. It is because of this, that the Apostle Peter compares Satan with a "raging lion which stalks about seeking whom he might devour."

On Sin ( St. Tikhon of Zadonsk )

For sin is the cause of each and every misfortune that occurs in this world. If it were not for sin there would be no misfortune.


Sin came into being in the world and upon it followed every calamity. Sin is sweet to men, but its fruits are bitter to them.


St. Tikhon of Zadonsk

The Sin of Smoking ( Elder Nektary of Optina )

I am continuing my mental battle with the vice of smoking, but it's still completely unsuccessful. I have to quit this filthy and stupid occupation; it is noticeably ruining my health — the gift of God — and that is a sin.

The ever-memorable Elder Ambrose once heard an admission from one of his spiritual daughters:

"Batiushka! I smoke and this is tormenting me!"

"Well," the Elder answered her, "this isn't a great misfortune, if you can quit."

"That's just the problem," she said, "I can't quit!"

"Then it's a sin," said the Elder, "and you've got to repent of it and leave off doing it."

I also have to leave off, but how do I do it? I'm consoled by the words of our Elders, who promised me freedom from this sin "when the time is right."

The late patron of Optina Monastery and spiritual friend of its great Elders, Archbishop Gregory of Kaluga, could not stand this vice among the clergy, but he was condescending towards laymen who smoked, and even towards his seminarians, before they joined the clerical staff. He categorically demanded from candidates who were preparing for ordination that they cease from this filthy habit, and he did not ordain those who smoked.

Our friend Fr. Nektary, to whom I often complained about my weakness, informed me of this. "After all," he consoled me, "you, your honor, are a layman — what's to be expected from you? But here..."

And he related the following to me:

"In the days of Archbishop Gregory, a spirit-bearing and monk-loving man, the following incident happened. A seminarian from Kaluga, who had graduated at the head of his class, and who, because of his exceptional giftedness was personally known to the Archbishop, had to prepare himself for ordination to one of the better positions in the diocese. He appeared before the Archbishop for a blessing and to set a date for the ordination. The hierarch received him with extreme affection, conversed amiably with him and, having shown fatherly kindness towards him, dismissed him, assigning a date for the ordination. However, when dismissing the candidate, he did not fail to ask him, 'Well, then, brother, do you smoke, or not?'

"'No, your Eminence,' replied the candidate, 'I don't go in for that.'

"'Well, good,' the Archbishop exclaimed joyfully, 'see what a fine fellow I've got! Well then, prepare yourself, and may the Lord bless you!'

"According to custom, the candidate bowed to the feet of the Archbishop. His frock coat flew open, and from his breast pocket cigarettes began to fall out onto the floor, one after the other.

"The Archbishop flared up in indignation. 'Who made you lie to me?' he exclaimed with great anger. 'To whom have you lied? When have you lied? When preparing to serve God in holiness and in truth?... Get out of here! There is no position for you, nor will there be one!...'

"And with that he drove the liar out of his sight.... So, your honor," added Fr. Nektary, looking at me with his always laughing, kind and affectionate gaze, "why be dejected that it's not the smell of athonite incense that comes out of your mouth? To whom are you obliged?... And, you know what?" — he exclaimed, and his face lit up with a kind smile. "You won't believe it — I myself barely avoided joining the ranks of smokers. This was back in my childhood, when I still lived at home, together with my mama.... In the whole wide world there were only the two of us, Mama and me, and there was also a cat that lived with us.... We were of a low station, and because of this we were poor: who needed people like us? Well, then, once my mama wasn't keeping an eye on me and I went ahead and borrowed some tobacco from some of my rich peers. They had no shortage of tobacco and they willingly treated everyone who wanted it. They rolled themselves a cigarette, smoked and smoked, and then stuck it in my mouth — 'Here, have a smoke!' Well, following them, I myself began to smoke. The first time I tried it I became dizzy, but I liked it all the same. Cigarette butt after cigarette butt, and I already began to get used to this mischief. I began to beg and then to borrow on credit, hoping somehow to pay it back. But what was I going to pay it back with, when my own mother lived, as they say, from bread to kvass, and there wasn't always plenty of bread.... Then my mama began to notice the smell of tobacco coming from me....

"'What's this, Kolya (my name in the world was Nicholas) — you haven't begun to smoke, have you?'

"'What do you mean, Mommy,' I would say, 'I hardly think so!'

"And I would quickly move aside, as if I were doing something. It went that way once, then another time, and then I got caught. Once I had barely managed to inhale some borrowed tobacco on the sly, when suddenly, there was Mama.

"'Were you just smoking?' she asked.

"Again I said, 'No, Mama.'

"But where did I get 'no' from? I reeked of tobacco from way off. Mama didn't say a word to me then, but she gazed at me with such a sorrowful look that you could say that my whole soul was overturned within me. She went away from me somewhere to do the housework, and I hid in a secluded corner and began to weep inconsolably, that I had grieved Mama. And not only had I grieved her, I had deceived her and lied on top of that. I can't express how painful this was for me! The day passed, night came, and my mind sought for sleep. I lay in my bed and whimpered, lay and whimpered.... Mama heard it.

"'What is it, Kolya — you're not crying, are you?'

"'No, Mama.'

"'Why aren't you sleeping?'

"And with these words, Mama got up, lit the lamp and came over to me. My face was all wet with tears and my pillow was soaked....

"And what happened between us then!... We both had a good cry and were reconciled. Having a good cry with one so dear, how nicely we were reconciled!

"And thus ended my mischief with smoking."


Elder Nektary of Optina

Self-Deception & Carelessness ( Saint Theophan the Recluse )

In the teaching of Saint Theophan the Recluse there are several layers that tie us to sin. Closest to our heart is "self-deception, insensitivity and carelessness." Then on top of that is "absent-mindedness and much-caring." The outer layer is "prevalence of the flesh."

Self-Deception & Carelessness -- Absent Mindedness & Busyness -- Demands of the Body

While the most important of these is the one closest to the heart we need to start with the outer layer and work our way into the one next to our heart. He says, "begin by removing the sinful coverings as one would remove layers of earth in order to expose a treasure buried beneath."

The first step is to discipline the demands of the body and learn to deny it pleasures, restrict indulgences and even natural needs. The most common practice in this area is fasting. Saint Theophan says "Through this the soul will free itself of the bonds of matter, will become more energetic, lighter, and more receptive to good impressions... the goal is very significant––it completely changes one's activity." Your habits are mastered and broken giving you a wider range of free choice.

Next is step is to address our busyness which does not leave anytime to work on ourselves. We need to establish time where we can set aside all our cares. This is what our daily prayer time is for. A time to set our cares aside for a time. When we create this space of solitude we will find that our minds are still very active. Practices like the Jesus Prayer are helpful in this regard, but most importantly as setting aside private time to be alone for a regular prayer routine.

With our cares set aside and our mind quieted we now come close to our heart. Saint Theophan says, "Before you is your inner self, sunk in the deep slumber of carelessness, insensitivity and blindness. Begin to awaken it." Now we have to know ourselves in a new and deeper way. We have to strip away all the prejudices we have about ourselves that blind us to the sinful reality we live in. We then come in tune with the reality of the moment.

Now we can bring to our awareness what keeps us in blindness. Here are a few common excuses that are part of self-delusion that Saint Theophan mentions.
Contenting yourself with saying:
• "I am a Christian,"
• "After all I am not the worst."
• "I am not so bad."
• "I am not sinful--am I the only one?"

I am sure you can find others excuses that keep you in blindness and filled with self-deception about the serious condition your soul is in. This insensitive condition is called "hardness of heart." The challenge is to learn how to soften it.



Saint Theophan the Recluse

Ref: Path to Salvation pp 129 - 137

Sin ( Elder Ambrose of Optina )

We avoid the eyes of men, and in God's presence we commit sin.

We know God to be the judge of all, and yet in His eyes we sin.

Elder  Ambrose of Optina