Love is higher than everything. If you find that you have no love within you but wish to obtain it, then perform acts of love, even though at the beginning without love. God will see your desire and suffering and will implant love into your heart. "Those who have an unsightly heart should not despair, because with God’s help they can reform it. All you need to do is watch yourself attentively, do not allow an opportunity to be beneficial to your close one slip by, disclose your thoughts to your starets and be benevolent to the utmost. Of course this cannot be done suddenly, but God is very patient. He only terminates the life of a person when He sees that he is ready to cross over into eternity, or, when He sees that there is no hope for improvement in him.
Elder Ambrose of Optina